Yellow Puddle... ALMOST!

So there I was walking around Bed Bath and Beyond- also known as earths preview of Hell for minimalists.

And I was searching the place for an olive oil spritzer for the new and beautiful discovery of kale chips. Click for recipee because they are the best substitute for potato chips known to mankind.
Any ways So I'm shoppin away and this creepy guy keeps following me around, he works there so I give him dirty looks like... hey you.. guy! Stop following me! If I was going to shop lift I'd be wearing a baggier coat! Hello!? Then I decided to go to the bank. That's where I went wrong people.

So today we lucked out and got our tax refund. We had been wondering if the government was a scam because it was taking soooo long to get to us. It's comforting to know it's not since our mail was especially happy today.
Oh and PS if you are reading this and thinking about robbing me, don't bother we aren't worth that much. It would be a complete waste of your time. I mean, come on we don't even own a TV.

SO I go to the bank. I even go inside. Well it was a good thing. I walk up to the little corral thing. And I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Even though there are 4 tellers... just sitting there. TALKING! Completely ignoring me. Finally Fritzie - yeah. That was her NAME. She finally decides to break the deep convo about pot roast and wait on me. " I'd be glad to assist you honey". Well she lost me at : Honey:
So then I say, very nicely! " I'd like to cash these checks. " and she stares at me. Takes a breath. And then says to me " Well do you even have an account here". Well. now its war you old biddy!
 Yes, I have an account here.
Then she looks at the check. 
Well you have to have enough innn your account to cover this you know.
Yes, I know I tell her. I assure you there is enough.
Well, alright she says.
She types. Hmms, hurumphs, and then she says very loudly so that every one in the whole bank can hear her
" You do NOT have enough in this account to cover this check young lady. There is only ( even louder now) FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX CENTS IN HERE".

So, by now I'm turning the same color as my Bucs shirt. The other tellers are looking at me like... tisk tisk. And I'm looking back at them like... SHAME ON YOU!!!
So then I kindly reply, in an accent that must come from my ancestors because it can only be conjured up when I am .. sufficiently P.O'd, " Did you happen to check the other accounts?"
Oh she says.
Then she cashes the dang check and asks me if I want big bills and I say no. And for a moment I think about asking for all the money in ones. So I start laughing! And then she looks at me with that weird old lady look, so I start laughing HARDER and harder.... I'm laughing now actually. And then I say No, just medium bills like 20's and tens. To which she scowls. And I keep laughing all the way to the car. Which then I realize that I have to pee so bad that I can't hold it. Which is also when I realize that I need gas or my car is going to stop. So I drive to the nearest gas station. And the lady behind the counter tell me that they don't have public restrooms. I explain to her that I am going to pee my pants and she recommends that I do it outside...  So I pump my gas with my legs crossed doing the pee pee dance and make it to the coffee shop just in time to see my newly favorite barista and get to the bawthroom without making any yellow puddles.
AH.
what a DAY.
So here I am
What happened to YOU today. Do tell!