Tuesday, July 31, 2012

When Darkness Comes

  No one ever talks about that. Right?
Well. At least no one ever talked to me about it . Darkness. How it comes to you like a
sneaky fog.

These are my reservations.
I have been told about the LIGHT. I have been told about the SAVING.
I have been told about the RULES. I have been told about the unspoken way of the Christian world
by how people treat the weird, gay, disfigured, alcoholic, drug addict, gang bangers, murders and liars. DO this. DO that. DON'T. SHOULD.
    I never was sure if I agreed with it all. These contradictory rules that went against that still small voice in my soul.
   But there I was. With the rules in one hand and Jesus in the other. The sun was shining down on me and it was great. I loved the sun.
But then something happened.
  It.    faded.
 s l o w l y.     suddenly.


(source)

This is when I woke up one morning and my heart cried " ARE YOU EVEN THERE?"
- weird. I never felt like that before. Before, in the " good old days" I could see God in a
t u r k e y    s a n d w i c h .

Then the clouds came and He was gone.

 And you know what happened?
   much wished for Babies died.
   people who loved each other got divorced.
  terrible things happened to my friends.
   jobs were lost

  life was turned UPSIDE DOWN.

The faith I had before never told me about this part of life.
I only knew about the sunshine and the flowers. - you know singing songs about Jesus
and wanting to believe in this BIG GOOD God.


The darkness taught me about the light. The real light. The one that shines through the darkness.

The darkness has taught me that the LIGHT is right here in me.

The darkness has taught me that the SAVING happens -    every. single. day.
         - conversion-

The darkness has taught me that the RULES

       ARE RIDICULOUS.





ri·dic·u·lous/riˈdikyələs/

Adjective:
Deserving or inviting derision or mockery; absurd.
Synonyms:
ludicrous - laughable - absurd - funny - comical

         
                             I CHUCK THE STUPID RULES


   This darkness? Possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. 
It was not happy. 
   It was not enjoyable. 
       It is not over. 


But it is teaching me the lessons I cannot learn in the light. 


The fog is slowly lifting. and I see HIM in the wind. 

He comes to me now in the smallish things. Sometimes in the sun. 

But mostly the wind. 

And it is making me. 



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4 comments:

  1. The light always brings perspective to the dark. But the dark can be so very dark.

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  2. <3 Amen! Praise God! It is SO good and refreshing to see God's faithfulness in your life. I love you always.

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  3. this is true, lady. one morning some years ago...I saw and understood that a pinpoint of light penetrates the deepest darkness. All I ask is that the pinpoint size light not be hidden. ever. thank you for sharing.

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