Bubalicious.

" How you doin' Bubbalicious?!" He grins at me with his toothy and toothless grin. His eyes are squinty and puffy and much darker than the rest of his brown skin.
" I'm doing well! How are you today sir?" - For some reason my voice sounded extra white girl when that came out.  " You know these hormones they be got me on be trippin.... but YOU BEAUTIFUL! You know it's good to wanted. Don't even matter who it's by..." He steps closer to me and his giant frame is now towering over me.  I am sitting in the waiting room of a clinic waiting for me name to be called and so is Mr. Bubbalicious.
" Well, I don't know about that!" The lady next to me pulls out her phone and pretends to talk on it. Another lady across from me stares more intently at her finger nails. The old man sitting next to her pretends to fall asleep. For real people? Are you just going to leave me out here in the cold with  big Bubbalicious!?
" You IS RIGHT! HA HA!" He leans down and places his enormous hand on my shoulder  and loudly exclaims " You don't wanna be wanted by the  LAW! HAHAHA!!!" And I just had to laugh because this giant man wan pretty hilarious and pretty crazy and he called me Bubbalicious. Well then he walked to the other side of the room and continued his rant about " med'cashun" they got me on.
    So here I am sitting in a little chair with my gaint file-o facts in my lap with no body on my team to deal with big Bubbalicious and then it comes out, the real story about why Bubbalicious was at the clinic that day.  From behind me I hear,
  " Shoot man... I gotta see doctah Hall man...... How you doin' today ma'am? "
" I am blessed and how are you?" says a slightly grouchy, northern, a-pack-a-day, Yinzer old lady voice.
" I'll be better when that doctah get me off that med'cashun. Shoot. I be tryin to be with some body. Like.. you know BE with some body and they don't tell you that stuff be messin wicha HORMONES!....."
  .... SHOCK. I'm tryin not to laugh. And of course the phone lady sitting next to me has something to say about that. "Sum people like to share. But that is TOO MUCH! ...." Of course the older man who pretended to fall asleep earlier cracks open his eyes. Seeming to give a silent wave of empathy to Big Bubbalish.
   After a few minutes of not paying attention any more.. all the sudden ..
" I mean... just look we ALL got the mark of the BEAST. I mean come on lady... You got social security don't you? " Bubbalish and Old Yinzer are going AT IT. She is preachin' him the gospel and he is arguing his stance on the tribulation.
" I mean... go into the bathroom and you'll see we ain't even got to flush the toilet any more..."
" But John 17 says..."
and on and on and on until... " Miss Nelson...."
PEACE AND LOVE MY PEOPLE I AM OUT!
    " Oh hey girl. I see you Bubalicious... Have a nice day now..."
" You too sir!"
 ... This really happened.