Yellow Puddle... ALMOST!

So there I was walking around Bed Bath and Beyond- also known as earths preview of Hell for minimalists.

And I was searching the place for an olive oil spritzer for the new and beautiful discovery of kale chips. Click for recipee because they are the best substitute for potato chips known to mankind.
Any ways So I'm shoppin away and this creepy guy keeps following me around, he works there so I give him dirty looks like... hey you.. guy! Stop following me! If I was going to shop lift I'd be wearing a baggier coat! Hello!? Then I decided to go to the bank. That's where I went wrong people.

So today we lucked out and got our tax refund. We had been wondering if the government was a scam because it was taking soooo long to get to us. It's comforting to know it's not since our mail was especially happy today.
Oh and PS if you are reading this and thinking about robbing me, don't bother we aren't worth that much. It would be a complete waste of your time. I mean, come on we don't even own a TV.

SO I go to the bank. I even go inside. Well it was a good thing. I walk up to the little corral thing. And I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Even though there are 4 tellers... just sitting there. TALKING! Completely ignoring me. Finally Fritzie - yeah. That was her NAME. She finally decides to break the deep convo about pot roast and wait on me. " I'd be glad to assist you honey". Well she lost me at : Honey:
So then I say, very nicely! " I'd like to cash these checks. " and she stares at me. Takes a breath. And then says to me " Well do you even have an account here". Well. now its war you old biddy!
 Yes, I have an account here.
Then she looks at the check. 
Well you have to have enough innn your account to cover this you know.
Yes, I know I tell her. I assure you there is enough.
Well, alright she says.
She types. Hmms, hurumphs, and then she says very loudly so that every one in the whole bank can hear her
" You do NOT have enough in this account to cover this check young lady. There is only ( even louder now) FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX CENTS IN HERE".

So, by now I'm turning the same color as my Bucs shirt. The other tellers are looking at me like... tisk tisk. And I'm looking back at them like... SHAME ON YOU!!!
So then I kindly reply, in an accent that must come from my ancestors because it can only be conjured up when I am .. sufficiently P.O'd, " Did you happen to check the other accounts?"
Oh she says.
Then she cashes the dang check and asks me if I want big bills and I say no. And for a moment I think about asking for all the money in ones. So I start laughing! And then she looks at me with that weird old lady look, so I start laughing HARDER and harder.... I'm laughing now actually. And then I say No, just medium bills like 20's and tens. To which she scowls. And I keep laughing all the way to the car. Which then I realize that I have to pee so bad that I can't hold it. Which is also when I realize that I need gas or my car is going to stop. So I drive to the nearest gas station. And the lady behind the counter tell me that they don't have public restrooms. I explain to her that I am going to pee my pants and she recommends that I do it outside...  So I pump my gas with my legs crossed doing the pee pee dance and make it to the coffee shop just in time to see my newly favorite barista and get to the bawthroom without making any yellow puddles.
AH.
what a DAY.
So here I am
What happened to YOU today. Do tell!

Northern Hospitality... ish

So I have been spending much time at this little coffee shop in our neighborhood called Tazza D'oro. Which the masses fondly refer to as Tazzadoro's. Here is the thing: its the most intimidating coffee shop I have ever been to! And every time I leave  I just think to myself i just want to go to the drip! But tonight as I was sitting here it clicked. This old guy is loudly yelling at these college students. They are trading comments about sewing and growing up in the Burgh. People are telling the Barista's goodbye before they leave. Every one is saying, " Good night every one"... and suddenly I realize. Every one knows every one else! And I'm not in the club. Why? Probably because these loud northern people freak me out and I keep being a shy and quiet fuzz ball.
NO MORE! Time to ask some questions and get some answers. ... Is that a line from the little mermaid?
    So I can't decide if my clothes are shrinking or my wait is expanding... ! Its time to hit the gym. HARD.
I was recently inspired by a picture of me in a bathing suit from 2 years ago and I screeched through the house LOOK HOW SKINNY I WAS!!! Too bad I didnt think I was that fit! Shame!
    SIGH.

Oh PS say hello to northern hospitality in the way of : the barista gave me my tea for free tonight because I didnt have enough cash. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

On with the next. A new week.
oh Lord let us see you near.

Hello Sailor.... Hello Sailor... Hello Sailor....

So here I am ! It's starting to be Spring time in the great city of Pittsburgh!
Although we are supposed to get more snow next week.. I'm ignoring that and focusing on the beautiful sunshine and little green buds around these parts right now!
    So it's been two weeks of " keep your toes on the floor please" and " control your body!" as well as "let me check your diaper" and " do you want to put your pee in the potty?". Pretty fabulous times.
If you ever want to learn how to raise a child, and you have no prior experience this is my genious suggestion: go work at a pre-school/day care for a few months. You will learn everything you ever needed to know.
 So the days are good. Currently we are storing most pots and pans on the floor... haha. And anxiously awaiting our land lords permission to PAINT our bleak-off -white-haven't-been-painted-in-12-years-walls.
Also awaiting some great garage sales and furniture deals any where they can be found!
   I tried to go to the farmers market today to buy zuchinni... and I got there at 12. The same time it closed! Unvelievable! Did I also mention how the other day I was talking on the phone, drinking coffee, and digging through my purse at the same time ( because  I thought I locked my keys in the car..) and suddenly my coffee was in the air... flying, then crashing into a pick up truck! AH! Thankfully it bounced off and landed on the ground and exploded every where... yeah. No matter where I live I will always be crazy and unbelievably clumbsy. Yup.

Well, happy spring friends! Hopefully more to come and hopefully internet at the house very soon!
xo
<3




'

Simmer. Settle. Sigh.

 So here we are in  our new apartment. Well, I'm not actually there right now- no internet yet. But its in the works.  Right now I am in the cute coffee shop down the road from our house! About 3 blocks away! AH! so close!
  I am on a shopping excursion. A mission to save money and buy groceries for as little money as possible!
So its a gloomy day which fits my mood. GLOOMY.  I don't actually have a great reason to be gloomy.
And I keep asking myself the question, When will Loralai and Luke get together!?! Which I am realizing translates into.. AHHH I hate moving and transition and getting a whole new life some where else! And everything always changes and ughh!!! When will things just stay the same and how I like them and ....
   Oh Heaven. Please come quickly.
And earth quakes and people dying and sad, sad things.

  But things are good here and life is rich and my new job is great. And my husband is wonderful.
And God is good.

  Here is a picture from this weekend antics..  More soon. Off to buy the rest of the groceries now that I am sufficiently caffeinated!

Xo <3

NEW !!! SNOW! and Jillian...

 WOAH! In the new apartment!
   It snowed !
Going grocery shoppin.. for everything..
Intense healthy eating starting tomorrow.
... no internet for now!
 LOVE to all!
<3

House shoes and hand prints! - Sweet Pea the Donkey!

So there I was. In the grocery store. Trying to buy enough groceries to last a week.
On a small amount of money. Maybe the only good thing I actually liked about Texas was that we were so close to Mexico! Which made our food way, way cheap   inexpensive -> I hear my cousin saying " We don't say cheap Sister! We say Inexpensive! Gotta learn from her classy ways!
   ANY WHO!
So there I am, talking to my mom on the phone, drinking coffee, shopping and adding up the cost of everything in my basket on a piece of paper. This guy looks at me. Like he gives me that look. The You crazy as hell ! look.  So I smile and take a  sip of coffee and just keep going. Don't judge me!
  As I make my way closer to the meat department I hear these screaming little boys.  Yelling things like " I'm gunna blow you up! " and " You look like a crooked alien!" So, I'm thinking ... Aww how cute. Little boys playing loudly together in the super market!...  Well I kept thinking that until I actually SAW them and realized that they weren't actually talking to each other they were talking to their MOM! They were running around her in circles, yelling, hitting her and telling he she looked like a crooked alien! All the while she was trying to buy some ground chuck!
  Immediately I am coming up with a diagnosis for these boys. ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder ... so on and so forth. Then I snap out of it and decide they just need leashes and a large portion of discipline!
  SO then the funny part happens. I get to the check out line and the cashier and the bagging lady are talking about the little boys:
 " You see then? oooo Lordy.  They was mean!" She rings up my eggs.
" If I was they mama I'da put them right... oooooo!!" She bags the eggs.
" Yeah, you preachin to the choir honey. 'Member them good ole days when you was actin up yo mama
done come after yo ass with a house shoe?" 
  Every one is laughing. She puts in all my cupons.
" Oh my Lord. And youda had a hand print 'cross yo face for a week.... " She works her magic on the register, getting me 8 dollars and 59 cents off my grocery bill.
" But you knew how to act now didncha? "
So we all agree and laugh. And " Thank you for shopping at Giant Eagle have a great day!"
   So I don't know if I will use the house shoe method of discipline when I have kids in 25 years but I sure hope my kids don't run around the market yelling at each other or calling me a crooked alien!

    NEWS: I got a job yesterday! OH PRAISE HIM!  Hello Pre-School world! Thanks for the prayers!

Oh and please enjoy a few pictures from our Christmas photo shoot with Sweet Pea the world's cutest donkey!