So. Here are some thoughts. A Saturday morning peaceful moment. And this happened.
Thinking.
Live a fearless life. Live your dreams. Wear cute work out clothes. Be well read. Stand up for yourself. No panty lines please! Wear tight jeans. Be kind to every one. Take good care of your feet. Eat healthy 85% of the time so you can eat treats. WEar a good bra so your don't end up like tribal african women or a 95 year old granny. Don't slouch. Read the labels. Always be on time. Crack kills. Call your Mami. Call your Grandmom. Call your Titi's. motorcycle cops look weird. BMW's are over rated. Hummers are DUMB. Early morning is good even if your eyes are puffy. I think that some people experience life really well with out quiet jazz music, a cup of coffee and a good sit. Not me. Life is always just passing me. The moments ----> go! My anxiety and calculating waus have a tendancy to overtake the moment. Some people may call this an expensive caffine addiction. But I call it mindfulness and self awareness. Or thinking. Or being. yes. just being.
warm.
tasty.
drink.
sit. think. be.
stop. calm. rest.
observe. listen. contemplate.
world. pass. slowly. thank you.
Hm. So the weeks go by and all I can say is that God is with us. And He is breaking our chains. And He is saying to me " Put down your paper plate. Come to the table made. Deep blue china. Set on the table by the wine. So fine."
And often I choose the paper plate and I choose to live in death but He is callling out to me
" Come to me. All who are weary and have heavy burdens. I will give you rest."
So it is a good thing to sit at the table of God and let him lift our burdens right off our tired shoulders.
So He holds the feast. He pours the wine. He sets the table. And I?
Sometimes I eat from a paper plate.
Sometimes I pull out the chair. unfold the napkin. Sit back. and delight myself
in the richest of fare.
Oh that there would be more feasting in our hearts than eating from paper plates!
<3 xo
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
the HAPs... Cucumbers and Grandmom
So.
In my family it is tradition, customary, almost law, to cut fresh cucumbers and onions into thin slices, pour sugar and vinegar over them, sprinkle celery seed on top and place them in the refrigerator. A few hours later we eat pickles. We do this all year long. But mostly in the summer time. So tonight as I was cutting cucumbers my mind went to my Grandmom humming softly in her kitchen making pickles.
I did not make pickles tonight but I wish she was here anyways because she is the best company a girl could ask for and really, really hilarious.
I did attempt to use the GRILL.( What was I THINKING!?!) Which is eventually why I ate cucumbers....
SO THERE I WAS standing in the back yard holding a can of lighter fluid, a box of matches, a red pepper and gigantic tongs, standing in front of THE GRILL. And I'm saying I'm probably going to light my self on fire. I should let the husband do this. Seriously. What are you doing out here? Remember you like your hair? You should go back inside...Is that wood? I thought this was charcoal... So then my body just kept moving and completely ignored my mind. So I looked inside and moved somestuff. And then I tried to open the lighter fluid... press the dot? WHAT the heck? Any ways. Finally I got it open. And all over my hands. aghhh...And so... what do you do with that stuff anyhow? I just squirted it on. And lit a match and threw it on the charcoal.. and magic! FIRE!!! FLAMES! COOKING POWAH!
Well then the fire went out. So I did this small procedure about five times and every time.. FIRE... FLAMES! POWAH! and then nothing.
SO I said FORGET IT MR GRILL! I removed pepper. By this time my it was completely black and not cooked AT ALL.
But that didn't stop me because roasted red pepper hummus was on the menu!
Then I got real crazy and invented some crazy white bean potato salad ! With purple potatoes?! YES! Purple dahhhling. with Parsley. Yes. Parsley I do say!
And then the kitchen that was so wonderfully made beauty-mous by the husband was slightly destroyed ( still is?)
I didn't take any pictures of that one time/earlier tonight when I splattered roasted red pepper hummus all over the white kitchen floor.....
Speaking of the husband! Check out my AMAZING cutest ever surprise!!!
Now... trying to rest so I can get rid of my toddleritis. Mostly because MY BEST FRIEND is getting married on Saturday! Steve and I will make the trek to NC to attend. Which is sooo inconvenient.... who am I kidding.... HOORAY! PLUS fun fact our anniversaries will be SO close! We've almost been married a whole year which is way awesome!
Now I do believe some dishes are calling my name... SIGH.
<3 ciao!
In my family it is tradition, customary, almost law, to cut fresh cucumbers and onions into thin slices, pour sugar and vinegar over them, sprinkle celery seed on top and place them in the refrigerator. A few hours later we eat pickles. We do this all year long. But mostly in the summer time. So tonight as I was cutting cucumbers my mind went to my Grandmom humming softly in her kitchen making pickles.
I did not make pickles tonight but I wish she was here anyways because she is the best company a girl could ask for and really, really hilarious.
I did attempt to use the GRILL.( What was I THINKING!?!) Which is eventually why I ate cucumbers....
SO THERE I WAS standing in the back yard holding a can of lighter fluid, a box of matches, a red pepper and gigantic tongs, standing in front of THE GRILL. And I'm saying I'm probably going to light my self on fire. I should let the husband do this. Seriously. What are you doing out here? Remember you like your hair? You should go back inside...Is that wood? I thought this was charcoal... So then my body just kept moving and completely ignored my mind. So I looked inside and moved some
Well then the fire went out. So I did this small procedure about five times and every time.. FIRE... FLAMES! POWAH! and then nothing.
SO I said FORGET IT MR GRILL! I removed pepper. By this time my it was completely black and not cooked AT ALL.
But that didn't stop me because roasted red pepper hummus was on the menu!
Then I got real crazy and invented some crazy white bean potato salad ! With purple potatoes?! YES! Purple dahhhling. with Parsley. Yes. Parsley I do say!
And then the kitchen that was so wonderfully made beauty-mous by the husband was slightly destroyed ( still is?)
I didn't take any pictures of that one time/earlier tonight when I splattered roasted red pepper hummus all over the white kitchen floor.....
Speaking of the husband! Check out my AMAZING cutest ever surprise!!!
AHHH!!! Love it!!!! and all the babies say " Poons, poons!"
And then there was that one weekend. Well bike nerd adventure last last weekend. The photo documentary follows:
 |
| Blue Berries from the farmers market. |
 |
| Magical bridges! |
 |
| Not so magical hills? Ok still magical because the hill is on a bridge! |
Now... trying to rest so I can get rid of my toddleritis. Mostly because MY BEST FRIEND is getting married on Saturday! Steve and I will make the trek to NC to attend. Which is sooo inconvenient.... who am I kidding.... HOORAY! PLUS fun fact our anniversaries will be SO close! We've almost been married a whole year which is way awesome!
Now I do believe some dishes are calling my name... SIGH.
<3 ciao!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Amelia Bedelia &... Me!
SO today as I tripped into a door, dropped a handful of diapers and stepped into a child's bare foot... I finally realized that : I AM AMELIA BEDELIA! Remember her? Tall, lanky... clumsy but well meaning?!? OK, so correction! I am not at all tall and lanky. Actually the opposite! BUT we are alike in many ways. We drop, bump and crash into various things, including children!
I don't exactly wear a French Maid/ Nun Habit all the time. Have you ever actually read an Amelia Bedelia book? I used to read them every day! It's definitely on my recommended reading list for people of all ages.
I have, yet again, contracted a bad case of Toddleritis. When you walk around all day saying " You need a boggie wipe!" and then wipe the boogies, it's not surprising that the germs would migrate their way into your holy immune system and take over your body. And then you too would need a boogie wipe! Which I now do.
I MUST I MUST I MUST INCREASE MY BUST. And my immune system. Or else ! Plus my best friend is getting married in ONE WEEK! AHHHH!!
So I am sitting here watching an Affair to Remember. Sniff sniff. and reading Martha Stewart magazine and waiting for the Husband to get home from class!
Off to register for classes tomorrow! Nothing deep to say these days.
But soon.
<3
I have, yet again, contracted a bad case of Toddleritis. When you walk around all day saying " You need a boggie wipe!" and then wipe the boogies, it's not surprising that the germs would migrate their way into your holy immune system and take over your body. And then you too would need a boogie wipe! Which I now do.
I MUST I MUST I MUST INCREASE MY BUST. And my immune system. Or else ! Plus my best friend is getting married in ONE WEEK! AHHHH!!
So I am sitting here watching an Affair to Remember. Sniff sniff. and reading Martha Stewart magazine and waiting for the Husband to get home from class!
Off to register for classes tomorrow! Nothing deep to say these days.
But soon.
<3
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Inspire me...
So THERE I WAS reading O magazine. For which my mother slightly ( or seriously...) ridiculed me ....
Not saying I agree with Oprah and everything she says, although I would love it if she paid my tuition to go back to school! Any ways! So I was perusing my way through those gorgeously designed pages and they were all about poetry! hm. And I like it! And some times we just need words to wash over us to let us remember where our heart is. and it beeps.
So today this is how it happened:
* i wake up next to brad...er um my husband who looks like brad pitt... ( especially in Mr. & Mrs. Smith.. what the heck?)
* i take the husband over to his school and he goes to his class where he learns how to save people! He is so cool and awesome! Soon he will be riding around in one of these!
Kinda freaks me out but I didn't marry an adventure man for no reason! He is adventurous !
* I eat one heck of a delicious cupcake. yum. gluten free and everything. chocolate. breakfast. yum. My thighs didn't thank me... but they did later... when
* On the way home I got inspired upon seeing the bridges reflecting in the still water in the golden morning light and decide to ride my bike down town....
* big booty big booty bikes down town to see the bridges.. great ride there... thigh killer ride back!
WARNING: do not do a leg work out and then ride your bike up hills the next day. It will hurt.
* finish the day with grocery shopping. I AM SO BAD at GROCERY SHOPPING! WHAAAAAT the heck.
* OH! did i mention that we now have a washer and a dryer in our basement! LAUNDRY TIME!
So it has been a good, good day. The sun was shining and it was love-leee.
Oh. and bout being inspired. I want to be inspired. I just realized that i want to be inspired but I also NEED to be inspired. Today the light on the bridges and the water inspired me. Tomorrow who knows! But as my friend Amber would say " it's crucial " So Ima go out and look for some.
What inspires YOU dahhhling?
oh and ... i think this is the new blog face. for real.
DUCES!
Not saying I agree with Oprah and everything she says, although I would love it if she paid my tuition to go back to school! Any ways! So I was perusing my way through those gorgeously designed pages and they were all about poetry! hm. And I like it! And some times we just need words to wash over us to let us remember where our heart is. and it beeps.
So today this is how it happened:
* i wake up next to brad...er um my husband who looks like brad pitt... ( especially in Mr. & Mrs. Smith.. what the heck?)
Kinda freaks me out but I didn't marry an adventure man for no reason! He is adventurous !
* I eat one heck of a delicious cupcake. yum. gluten free and everything. chocolate. breakfast. yum. My thighs didn't thank me... but they did later... when
* On the way home I got inspired upon seeing the bridges reflecting in the still water in the golden morning light and decide to ride my bike down town....
* big booty big booty bikes down town to see the bridges.. great ride there... thigh killer ride back!
WARNING: do not do a leg work out and then ride your bike up hills the next day. It will hurt.
* finish the day with grocery shopping. I AM SO BAD at GROCERY SHOPPING! WHAAAAAT the heck.
* OH! did i mention that we now have a washer and a dryer in our basement! LAUNDRY TIME!
So it has been a good, good day. The sun was shining and it was love-leee.
Oh. and bout being inspired. I want to be inspired. I just realized that i want to be inspired but I also NEED to be inspired. Today the light on the bridges and the water inspired me. Tomorrow who knows! But as my friend Amber would say " it's crucial " So Ima go out and look for some.
What inspires YOU dahhhling?
oh and ... i think this is the new blog face. for real.
DUCES!
Friday, July 8, 2011
La Familia...
So here I am in Pittsburgh, very thankful to be sitting in the same room as my totally amazing and wonderful husband. Who- by the way surprised me today with the sweetest note under my windshield wiper! Ah!!! Which directed me to meet my "secret admirer" at a coffee shop for a surprise date! I'm lovin it!
So during nap time as the tots were sleeping and the music was playing and the fan was blowing and you could here the soft, yet loud at the same time, very distinctive sound of thumb sucking....
These thoughts came to me
Yes, it is good to venture out into the world and see where your adventures take you. It is good to see many faces and hear stories and grow your heart out in the wild. But it is also good to return "home" again and hear the screen door slam behind you as you walk into familiar arms and see good wrinkles and laugh with the people who love you, even when it's not convenient.
So this is what I am dreaming of these summer days. Remembering, missing , laughing and thinking these good thoughts....
Warm sunshine trickling through old windows. Afternoon showers. Lime green shag carpet. How my older sister used to take us to the pool and then let us stay in our bathing suits all day long. My brother and I going for rides with our dad in his bread truck and screaming every time he stopped at a red light. My Grandmom in a tube top pulling weeds out of the cracks in the drive way. And mostly this -> eating, eating, eating. Washing dishes. So much laughing and more laughing. Fighting over the rice at the bottom of the pot, affectionately known as " pega'o". Dancing, dancing, turning the music up louder, moving the couches for more dancing. Yelling, but only the good kind. Summer drives with friends, windows down and AC on. Sleep overs in 8th grade when the lightning bugs came out. Love letters from far away. Best friends getting married on warm evenings in the mountains. Fishing with little brother. Casablanca with a pint ( of mint chocolate oreo of course!). My mama's good salads and soft hands that are always the right temperature, especially when it's hot out side. And my almost always shirtless Fath. ( er).
This summer looks different than the many summers before. There is no Blue Cone or Dairy Inn. No beach and no mountains. There is no family down the road or good friends just a flight of stairs away. But there is sunshine and life and new beginnings.
And some good news: time off has been approved to travel south for a week to see la familia! <3
Tomorrow's agenda
Boot Camp
Mopping the kitchen floor.. errr emm. cough cough.
Groceries... and Laundry.
Oh and maybe a bike ride...
Oh! and maybe the pool... !!
So during nap time as the tots were sleeping and the music was playing and the fan was blowing and you could here the soft, yet loud at the same time, very distinctive sound of thumb sucking....
These thoughts came to me
Yes, it is good to venture out into the world and see where your adventures take you. It is good to see many faces and hear stories and grow your heart out in the wild. But it is also good to return "home" again and hear the screen door slam behind you as you walk into familiar arms and see good wrinkles and laugh with the people who love you, even when it's not convenient.
So this is what I am dreaming of these summer days. Remembering, missing , laughing and thinking these good thoughts....
Warm sunshine trickling through old windows. Afternoon showers. Lime green shag carpet. How my older sister used to take us to the pool and then let us stay in our bathing suits all day long. My brother and I going for rides with our dad in his bread truck and screaming every time he stopped at a red light. My Grandmom in a tube top pulling weeds out of the cracks in the drive way. And mostly this -> eating, eating, eating. Washing dishes. So much laughing and more laughing. Fighting over the rice at the bottom of the pot, affectionately known as " pega'o". Dancing, dancing, turning the music up louder, moving the couches for more dancing. Yelling, but only the good kind. Summer drives with friends, windows down and AC on. Sleep overs in 8th grade when the lightning bugs came out. Love letters from far away. Best friends getting married on warm evenings in the mountains. Fishing with little brother. Casablanca with a pint ( of mint chocolate oreo of course!). My mama's good salads and soft hands that are always the right temperature, especially when it's hot out side. And my almost always shirtless Fath. ( er).
This summer looks different than the many summers before. There is no Blue Cone or Dairy Inn. No beach and no mountains. There is no family down the road or good friends just a flight of stairs away. But there is sunshine and life and new beginnings.
And some good news: time off has been approved to travel south for a week to see la familia! <3
Tomorrow's agenda
Boot Camp
Mopping the kitchen floor.. errr emm. cough cough.
Groceries... and Laundry.
Oh and maybe a bike ride...
Oh! and maybe the pool... !!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Are those MY THIGHS!?
Every one asks this question right?
SO THERE I WAS. HERE I AM! Asking myself this question... and wondering...
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON !?!?! With my body?
Dear Innocent, Unassuming, lovely women under 30,
Hello, my name is Thunder Thigh and this is my friend Cell (short for cellulite),
This is a courtesy call for your body parts that jiggle. I will come and live with youfor ever after you turn 24. So belly up to the smoothie bar and buy some new running shoes sugar plum because if you don't your ass is mine. Literally.
Love,
T.T. & C.
Did you have a vision of thighs with faces swirling around your head, because I did!
Ok. So, yeah yeah yeah. I'm being dramatic. I'm slightly deranged and crazy when it comes to cellulite. And hey. Please allow me to say that I am pretty proud of my thunder thighs. When they make good thunder. Like... Ima kick your butt (my own?) thunder. Not I'ma jiggle you till you laugh so hard from crying thunder. That didn't even make sense.
Basically what I am saying is... LET'S STAY FIT LADIES! WE CAN DO IT. Tell that negative voice in the back of your head to take a permanent vacation. Eat some broccoli. Girl some chicken. Take your multivitamin. And WORK IT. Shake whatcha mama gave ya. Go up the stairs. Go to the gym. Download some beats (can I please recommend some Daddy Yankee and Elvis Crespo?- Seriously. Elvis Crespo + the Stair master = Match made in the heavenly realms!) Not only to stave off the wiggle jiggle. But to let your outsides reflect your insides = THE BOMB. Because you are. mm hmm.
And we also all want to live to be 30!
<3
ciao!
SO THERE I WAS. HERE I AM! Asking myself this question... and wondering...
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON !?!?! With my body?
Dear Innocent, Unassuming, lovely women under 30,
Hello, my name is Thunder Thigh and this is my friend Cell (short for cellulite),
This is a courtesy call for your body parts that jiggle. I will come and live with you
Love,
T.T. & C.
Did you have a vision of thighs with faces swirling around your head, because I did!
Ok. So, yeah yeah yeah. I'm being dramatic. I'm slightly deranged and crazy when it comes to cellulite. And hey. Please allow me to say that I am pretty proud of my thunder thighs. When they make good thunder. Like... Ima kick your butt (my own?) thunder. Not I'ma jiggle you till you laugh so hard from crying thunder. That didn't even make sense.
Basically what I am saying is... LET'S STAY FIT LADIES! WE CAN DO IT. Tell that negative voice in the back of your head to take a permanent vacation. Eat some broccoli. Girl some chicken. Take your multivitamin. And WORK IT. Shake whatcha mama gave ya. Go up the stairs. Go to the gym. Download some beats (can I please recommend some Daddy Yankee and Elvis Crespo?- Seriously. Elvis Crespo + the Stair master = Match made in the heavenly realms!) Not only to stave off the wiggle jiggle. But to let your outsides reflect your insides = THE BOMB. Because you are. mm hmm.
And we also all want to live to be 30!
<3
ciao!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Bike Nerd adventure to the market...
So there I was. Picture it with me if you will.
Big booty, big booty.
Bike seat.
Helmet.
Back pack.
Cars passing me every three seconds.
ME, pedaling
s.l.o.w.l.y.
Pedaling up a gradually inclining road that would take me back home- where the water was. water. water. water. That's what I kept telling myself. Also hoping that no one would yell at me from the window of their car. Phrases like " HAHA BIKE NERD!" or " CAN YOU GO ANY SLOWER HELMET HEAD?" Ok. So it is most likely not probable that people would yell at me. It is way more probable that they would run me over. Are you reading this Grandmom? Because I am really safe and careful ! But you should see these crazy people!
Any ways. Photo's from the journey... here they are
 |
| So then there was the Pitsburgh Marshmallow Factory, please visit them <here> |
 |
| delightful and lemony! I tried them.. DELISH! I actually bought a turtle one... but it was totally devoured before I could snap a pic! |
 |
| The Marshmallow people were also SUPER nice and really friendly- basically if you live in the Burgh, you should be buying their marshmallows! |
 |
| Then my journeys took me about half a mile down the street to this tiny hole in the wall donut shop! My friend Lilly calls them little works of art and they are! I did not partake in any of these delightful art bites, but I did try a Raspberry Lemonade donut last time I was in the Strip and it was GOOD. |
My Inner Hippie was basically saying. Hells yeah!
Oh did I mention that the ride there was all the way down hill basically? And the ride back was all the way up hill? I MUST say that the trip was worth it. I rode 10 miles, which made me feel like a major rock star. And then I called my mom to tell her and she was like " Oh yeah! Isn't it great! I ride ten miles every morning and then I walk two miles after that...." And then she works all day! Shout out to my awesome mom! You are inspirational!
<3 chau lovahs!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
More to come..
Coming soon: my crazy friday last week.... AH! all i have is two words for that one
FeNdEr BeNdEr ... ugh!
FeNdEr BeNdEr ... ugh!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Bubalicious.
" How you doin' Bubbalicious?!" He grins at me with his toothy and toothless grin. His eyes are squinty and puffy and much darker than the rest of his brown skin.
" I'm doing well! How are you today sir?" - For some reason my voice sounded extra white girl when that came out. " You know these hormones they be got me on be trippin.... but YOU BEAUTIFUL! You know it's good to wanted. Don't even matter who it's by..." He steps closer to me and his giant frame is now towering over me. I am sitting in the waiting room of a clinic waiting for me name to be called and so is Mr. Bubbalicious.
" Well, I don't know about that!" The lady next to me pulls out her phone and pretends to talk on it. Another lady across from me stares more intently at her finger nails. The old man sitting next to her pretends to fall asleep. For real people? Are you just going to leave me out here in the cold with big Bubbalicious!?
" You IS RIGHT! HA HA!" He leans down and places his enormous hand on my shoulder and loudly exclaims " You don't wanna be wanted by the LAW! HAHAHA!!!" And I just had to laugh because this giant man wan pretty hilarious and pretty crazy and he called me Bubbalicious. Well then he walked to the other side of the room and continued his rant about " med'cashun" they got me on.
So here I am sitting in a little chair with my gaint file-o facts in my lap with no body on my team to deal with big Bubbalicious and then it comes out, the real story about why Bubbalicious was at the clinic that day. From behind me I hear,
" Shoot man... I gotta see doctah Hall man...... How you doin' today ma'am? "
" I am blessed and how are you?" says a slightly grouchy, northern, a-pack-a-day, Yinzer old lady voice.
" I'll be better when that doctah get me off that med'cashun. Shoot. I be tryin to be with some body. Like.. you know BE with some body and they don't tell you that stuff be messin wicha HORMONES!....."
.... SHOCK. I'm tryin not to laugh. And of course the phone lady sitting next to me has something to say about that. "Sum people like to share. But that is TOO MUCH! ...." Of course the older man who pretended to fall asleep earlier cracks open his eyes. Seeming to give a silent wave of empathy to Big Bubbalish.
After a few minutes of not paying attention any more.. all the sudden ..
" I mean... just look we ALL got the mark of the BEAST. I mean come on lady... You got social security don't you? " Bubbalish and Old Yinzer are going AT IT. She is preachin' him the gospel and he is arguing his stance on the tribulation.
" I mean... go into the bathroom and you'll see we ain't even got to flush the toilet any more..."
" But John 17 says..."
and on and on and on until... " Miss Nelson...."
PEACE AND LOVE MY PEOPLE I AM OUT!
" Oh hey girl. I see you Bubalicious... Have a nice day now..."
" You too sir!"
... This really happened.
" I'm doing well! How are you today sir?" - For some reason my voice sounded extra white girl when that came out. " You know these hormones they be got me on be trippin.... but YOU BEAUTIFUL! You know it's good to wanted. Don't even matter who it's by..." He steps closer to me and his giant frame is now towering over me. I am sitting in the waiting room of a clinic waiting for me name to be called and so is Mr. Bubbalicious.
" Well, I don't know about that!" The lady next to me pulls out her phone and pretends to talk on it. Another lady across from me stares more intently at her finger nails. The old man sitting next to her pretends to fall asleep. For real people? Are you just going to leave me out here in the cold with big Bubbalicious!?
" You IS RIGHT! HA HA!" He leans down and places his enormous hand on my shoulder and loudly exclaims " You don't wanna be wanted by the LAW! HAHAHA!!!" And I just had to laugh because this giant man wan pretty hilarious and pretty crazy and he called me Bubbalicious. Well then he walked to the other side of the room and continued his rant about " med'cashun" they got me on.
So here I am sitting in a little chair with my gaint file-o facts in my lap with no body on my team to deal with big Bubbalicious and then it comes out, the real story about why Bubbalicious was at the clinic that day. From behind me I hear,
" Shoot man... I gotta see doctah Hall man...... How you doin' today ma'am? "
" I am blessed and how are you?" says a slightly grouchy, northern, a-pack-a-day, Yinzer old lady voice.
" I'll be better when that doctah get me off that med'cashun. Shoot. I be tryin to be with some body. Like.. you know BE with some body and they don't tell you that stuff be messin wicha HORMONES!....."
.... SHOCK. I'm tryin not to laugh. And of course the phone lady sitting next to me has something to say about that. "Sum people like to share. But that is TOO MUCH! ...." Of course the older man who pretended to fall asleep earlier cracks open his eyes. Seeming to give a silent wave of empathy to Big Bubbalish.
After a few minutes of not paying attention any more.. all the sudden ..
" I mean... just look we ALL got the mark of the BEAST. I mean come on lady... You got social security don't you? " Bubbalish and Old Yinzer are going AT IT. She is preachin' him the gospel and he is arguing his stance on the tribulation.
" I mean... go into the bathroom and you'll see we ain't even got to flush the toilet any more..."
" But John 17 says..."
and on and on and on until... " Miss Nelson...."
PEACE AND LOVE MY PEOPLE I AM OUT!
" Oh hey girl. I see you Bubalicious... Have a nice day now..."
" You too sir!"
... This really happened.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Getting HOME.
SO.. here I am back in Pittsburgh after a great weekend celebrating a dear friend in beautiful NC.
So I drove and drove and passed many green hills and mountains and why is it that INSTANTLY when you travel south life just seems better!?
Blame it on the sweet tea or the sweet accents. i . love. it. It is SO beautiful and the rolling hills and the trees. and the TREES! ahhhh...
So, even though I love, love North Carolina and some day hope to return there... I have to say it felt pretty amazing to drive over a giant hill and then, right as you start to go down to the other side... you see a beautiful city of bridges- my city of bridges and my new home.
I have had so many places called home and I was thinking about this as i drove past beautiful green and fields of flowers and mountains with fog hanging in the valleys. And I realized that home has looked many different ways.
Once it was a house on a busy street with a kumquat tree in the back yard. It was a small apartment I shared with a friend for a summer. Home was a long country lane paved with river rocks and a nine foot security fence with shards of glass and razor wire on top. Home was a gas stove and a kitchen with windows that looked out into corn fields all around. Home was a donkey butt in my window. It was a small dorm room with twinkle lights and a ghetto air conditioner and friends in and out all the time. Now " home " is a city with lots of bridges and a third floor apartment in an old Victorian house with squeaky stairs and a stove from 1956. Or is it? Because some how I am always feeling like I need to get back there or know where " home is". - Maybe this is because people love to ask.. where is HOME for you? ehhh errr PANIC. Emm umm. Sweaty palms.. uhh.. come up with an answer quick.. ahhhhh. Uhh. - Now, truth be told. This is what is going on inside my head. But it usually comes out as a composed vague answer that feels like a lie " Florida". ? " North Carolina"? ..... Or my new favorite answer " Well I moved here from...." <- Let me tell you people. That one is the winner!
So on my drive I am eating a whole bag of ginger snaps, contemplating leaving my new home to travel to an old home and then all the sudden I was listening to this great Jon Foreman song that says " I'm not so sure that home is a place you can still get to by train". Mmm. and in my heart I know it to be true.
Because where is home?
My true home is a place where tornadoes don't kill people. My real home is a place where fires don't burn down entire states. Home in my mind is a place that is free of young men killing each other with things made out of medal.
It is the place where sickness and sorrow does not exist. Home is the place where hearts don't get broken and where people can't die. Home is the place where I will wake up and I will hear a strong and loving voice say to me, " the term is over, the holidays have begun. The dream is ended; THIS IS THE MORNING.".
And there will be light and good and love in every ounce of every day. And this is a place that I can't get to by train.
So until them my earthly home will be with these people I call family. With my generous and amazing husband who looks like Brad Pitt some times. And with the basil plant in my windowsill. And with all my girls. And His kingdom is coming. And all I can say is swing low.....
So I drove and drove and passed many green hills and mountains and why is it that INSTANTLY when you travel south life just seems better!?
Blame it on the sweet tea or the sweet accents. i . love. it. It is SO beautiful and the rolling hills and the trees. and the TREES! ahhhh...
So, even though I love, love North Carolina and some day hope to return there... I have to say it felt pretty amazing to drive over a giant hill and then, right as you start to go down to the other side... you see a beautiful city of bridges- my city of bridges and my new home.
I have had so many places called home and I was thinking about this as i drove past beautiful green and fields of flowers and mountains with fog hanging in the valleys. And I realized that home has looked many different ways.
Once it was a house on a busy street with a kumquat tree in the back yard. It was a small apartment I shared with a friend for a summer. Home was a long country lane paved with river rocks and a nine foot security fence with shards of glass and razor wire on top. Home was a gas stove and a kitchen with windows that looked out into corn fields all around. Home was a donkey butt in my window. It was a small dorm room with twinkle lights and a ghetto air conditioner and friends in and out all the time. Now " home " is a city with lots of bridges and a third floor apartment in an old Victorian house with squeaky stairs and a stove from 1956. Or is it? Because some how I am always feeling like I need to get back there or know where " home is". - Maybe this is because people love to ask.. where is HOME for you? ehhh errr PANIC. Emm umm. Sweaty palms.. uhh.. come up with an answer quick.. ahhhhh. Uhh. - Now, truth be told. This is what is going on inside my head. But it usually comes out as a composed vague answer that feels like a lie " Florida". ? " North Carolina"? ..... Or my new favorite answer " Well I moved here from...." <- Let me tell you people. That one is the winner!
So on my drive I am eating a whole bag of ginger snaps, contemplating leaving my new home to travel to an old home and then all the sudden I was listening to this great Jon Foreman song that says " I'm not so sure that home is a place you can still get to by train". Mmm. and in my heart I know it to be true.
Because where is home?
My true home is a place where tornadoes don't kill people. My real home is a place where fires don't burn down entire states. Home in my mind is a place that is free of young men killing each other with things made out of medal.
It is the place where sickness and sorrow does not exist. Home is the place where hearts don't get broken and where people can't die. Home is the place where I will wake up and I will hear a strong and loving voice say to me, " the term is over, the holidays have begun. The dream is ended; THIS IS THE MORNING.".
And there will be light and good and love in every ounce of every day. And this is a place that I can't get to by train.
So until them my earthly home will be with these people I call family. With my generous and amazing husband who looks like Brad Pitt some times. And with the basil plant in my windowsill. And with all my girls. And His kingdom is coming. And all I can say is swing low.....
Friday, June 3, 2011
SPANDEX ONLY!
This is from Saturday. Please laugh at me.
So. Today I made a major decision. Like life altering. I am talking serious decisions. Like - stop picking my nose in public kind of serious.
This decision came when I realized it was hot outside today. So I went over to my dresser and pulled out my favorite blue shorts from Ann Taylor Loft. I love my shorts. Well, I loved them until I put them on and I looked down and my legs looked like sausages encased in one hell of a bargain pair of shorts. So OF COURSE I took them off and threw them across the room and announced to the whole world. er. Steve... that i was NOT leaving the house under any condition. " I have TS! AND FWS! I am never going into public again!" stomp stomp stomp. I hide in the bathroom. Steve burries his head in pillows.
" You have thunder thigh syndrome and.. what is FWS? " muffeled, confused and slightly worried Steve voice barely makes it to me in the bathroom.
" FAT WOMAN SYNDROM! DUH!!" haha. I really said that. HAHAH!!
And then I am pretty sure that I rationalized the plan to gain more weight because HEY, if I am going to be at all fluffy, I might as well gain a little more weight so I can at least have bigger tata's!
Well then I calmed down and put on a stretchy skirt and we went out on a breakfast date like we planned. To eat pancakes. Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I was shouting about never eating pancakes and How can I eat them! It's like pouring gasoline on a forest fire in California!!...
But my cool, calm and collected husband is rarely phased by my dramatic antics and he usually makes me laugh and tells me I can do it!
So then we go down to the strip district and eat with the locals. I guess we are locals too. Or maybe we weren't until today! We ate pancakes under the warm sunshine and even sat next two two other couples who were totally great and they borrowed our ketchup! - I love it when people borrow my ketchup!
So much love to all.
laugh laugh laugh! xo
So. Today I made a major decision. Like life altering. I am talking serious decisions. Like - stop picking my nose in public kind of serious.
This decision came when I realized it was hot outside today. So I went over to my dresser and pulled out my favorite blue shorts from Ann Taylor Loft. I love my shorts. Well, I loved them until I put them on and I looked down and my legs looked like sausages encased in one hell of a bargain pair of shorts. So OF COURSE I took them off and threw them across the room and announced to the whole world. er. Steve... that i was NOT leaving the house under any condition. " I have TS! AND FWS! I am never going into public again!" stomp stomp stomp. I hide in the bathroom. Steve burries his head in pillows.
" You have thunder thigh syndrome and.. what is FWS? " muffeled, confused and slightly worried Steve voice barely makes it to me in the bathroom.
" FAT WOMAN SYNDROM! DUH!!" haha. I really said that. HAHAH!!
And then I am pretty sure that I rationalized the plan to gain more weight because HEY, if I am going to be at all fluffy, I might as well gain a little more weight so I can at least have bigger tata's!
Well then I calmed down and put on a stretchy skirt and we went out on a breakfast date like we planned. To eat pancakes. Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I was shouting about never eating pancakes and How can I eat them! It's like pouring gasoline on a forest fire in California!!...
But my cool, calm and collected husband is rarely phased by my dramatic antics and he usually makes me laugh and tells me I can do it!
So then we go down to the strip district and eat with the locals. I guess we are locals too. Or maybe we weren't until today! We ate pancakes under the warm sunshine and even sat next two two other couples who were totally great and they borrowed our ketchup! - I love it when people borrow my ketchup!
So much love to all.
laugh laugh laugh! xo
Friday, May 27, 2011
Dirt.poop.love.
SO, here we are!
Rewind to two weekends ago!
We hopped in the car about 3 in the PM after we got the oil changed in the car. And I wanted to kick that oil changer man in the face when he said " you haven't done this much have you ?" because I drove my car up to the garage instead of parking it in a parking spot. WELL MISTER! Greasy hands! This is how I'm used to doing it ok?!?! but I didn't really say that because he was already treating me like a small carrot in a sea of green minted peas so I told him " Hmm, interesting that you say that. I'll be outside sitting in the sun to get my vitamin D for the say. Please summon me when my car is ready, and oh! Be careful with her. She hasn't done this very much....CIAO!".
Well then my husband came and gave them the LOOK. Which just meant, is the car done yet because its been about 2 hours since you guys took it back there and we have to drive 6 hours to Tennessee tonight and now we will have to drive in the dark so hurry up guys.
So we travelled south. To the glory land. And it really is. The people got sweeter the further we went and then sweet tea started appearing on billboards. Then we saw signs for Bojangles. Steve Nelson = Bojangles ='s LOVE.
We spent the night with the some friends in Tennessee which was great! Then we headed to Hannah Hefner's house and visited with her and her fabulous husband Jordan! They fed us Cross Roads ( if you are near Alexander County, NC you shoudld do everything you can to get there!) which has the BEST cheeseburgers in the world. Like. for . real. I'm not joking. The best. Ever. World.
Then we headed down to the river to have a fire and smores and great times just sitting in the woods. Probably the best time I've had in.. eons. Hannah is a great host and wonderful and beautiful! It's soooo good to see friends from college! Especially good friends who know you and love you!
The next day we were off to a great wedding! Sniff sniff, tears. My little baby bird got married!
Then the next day we travelled over to Montreat where we went to all our old favorite places! We stayed with good friends who have an amazing house and got to see many dear friends!
We hit up all our favorite food spots, visited with my parents and then headed back home!
GOOD TRIP!
So now. Dirt. Poop. Love.
Dirt: we are planting our garden this week/weekend! Its outside our windows! So I guess its urban. But its exciting! I actually planted two plants yesterday! A Basil and an onion that has been growing in our kitchen.. haha!
Poop: this is my job. Which is good and fun. but I got poop on my hand today. And a kid told me to f-off. Accept.. you know. he actually SAID IT!
Love: mm. Life! Love! Learning to love city life and enjoy these days God brings to me here in Pittsburgh. It's good. And these clouds around me are slowly parting!
SO! PS! If you pray! Please pray for my brother and my grandmom! Grandmom was just in the hospital for a mild stroke! She came out just fine and dandy full of sassyness, just like she always is! But now she is at a high risk for another stroke. = BAD.
And for dearest Brother, he is facing some tough times right now and could use every prayer you have to give!
Thanks lovers!
xoxo and butterflies to all!
Rewind to two weekends ago!
We hopped in the car about 3 in the PM after we got the oil changed in the car. And I wanted to kick that oil changer man in the face when he said " you haven't done this much have you ?" because I drove my car up to the garage instead of parking it in a parking spot. WELL MISTER! Greasy hands! This is how I'm used to doing it ok?!?! but I didn't really say that because he was already treating me like a small carrot in a sea of green minted peas so I told him " Hmm, interesting that you say that. I'll be outside sitting in the sun to get my vitamin D for the say. Please summon me when my car is ready, and oh! Be careful with her. She hasn't done this very much....CIAO!".
Well then my husband came and gave them the LOOK. Which just meant, is the car done yet because its been about 2 hours since you guys took it back there and we have to drive 6 hours to Tennessee tonight and now we will have to drive in the dark so hurry up guys.
So we travelled south. To the glory land. And it really is. The people got sweeter the further we went and then sweet tea started appearing on billboards. Then we saw signs for Bojangles. Steve Nelson = Bojangles ='s LOVE.
We spent the night with the some friends in Tennessee which was great! Then we headed to Hannah Hefner's house and visited with her and her fabulous husband Jordan! They fed us Cross Roads ( if you are near Alexander County, NC you shoudld do everything you can to get there!) which has the BEST cheeseburgers in the world. Like. for . real. I'm not joking. The best. Ever. World.
Then we headed down to the river to have a fire and smores and great times just sitting in the woods. Probably the best time I've had in.. eons. Hannah is a great host and wonderful and beautiful! It's soooo good to see friends from college! Especially good friends who know you and love you!
The next day we were off to a great wedding! Sniff sniff, tears. My little baby bird got married!
Then the next day we travelled over to Montreat where we went to all our old favorite places! We stayed with good friends who have an amazing house and got to see many dear friends!
We hit up all our favorite food spots, visited with my parents and then headed back home!
GOOD TRIP!
So now. Dirt. Poop. Love.
Dirt: we are planting our garden this week/weekend! Its outside our windows! So I guess its urban. But its exciting! I actually planted two plants yesterday! A Basil and an onion that has been growing in our kitchen.. haha!
Poop: this is my job. Which is good and fun. but I got poop on my hand today. And a kid told me to f-off. Accept.. you know. he actually SAID IT!
Love: mm. Life! Love! Learning to love city life and enjoy these days God brings to me here in Pittsburgh. It's good. And these clouds around me are slowly parting!
SO! PS! If you pray! Please pray for my brother and my grandmom! Grandmom was just in the hospital for a mild stroke! She came out just fine and dandy full of sassyness, just like she always is! But now she is at a high risk for another stroke. = BAD.
And for dearest Brother, he is facing some tough times right now and could use every prayer you have to give!
Thanks lovers!
xoxo and butterflies to all!
Monday, May 23, 2011
CELL- U - LITE : Seriously?
SO: CELLULITE IS TAKING OVER MY WHOLE BODY!
I'm serious. I think I saw it on my nose today. For real. Ok. I'm being dramatic. But those 800 way mirrors at the gym ain't be lyin'. It's time to bring on the lunges and the squats and the crunches.
For real. If you are reading this and you could be turning 24 some time in the near future: BE WARE. This could happen to you! If it does call me and we'll sympathize and I'll give you a copy of my cellulite busting moves! Ghetto- licious bootay girls gotta stick together.
On the bright side of the world! We just got back from am amazing trip to NC ! AHH! It was great!
More on that to come! We are snagging some internet from the laundry mat and the clothes are dry!
<3 xo's~!
I'm serious. I think I saw it on my nose today. For real. Ok. I'm being dramatic. But those 800 way mirrors at the gym ain't be lyin'. It's time to bring on the lunges and the squats and the crunches.
For real. If you are reading this and you could be turning 24 some time in the near future: BE WARE. This could happen to you! If it does call me and we'll sympathize and I'll give you a copy of my cellulite busting moves! Ghetto- licious bootay girls gotta stick together.
On the bright side of the world! We just got back from am amazing trip to NC ! AHH! It was great!
More on that to come! We are snagging some internet from the laundry mat and the clothes are dry!
<3 xo's~!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Holy Canoli -
SO, NEVER DO THIS:
grocery shop with out a list.
bad bad bad BAD idea!
You could end up like me and eat half a cantaloupe for lunch. and then eat cheese for dinner.
And your husband might start looking emaciated. Or you might eat grits ( blessed be Judy Nelson) with cheese three nights in the same week. Ok. So just two, but three sounds more dramatic.
SO this week has been completely nutso! Picture two year olds running amuck. Sticking their hands down their diapers. - Maybe that was last week... All kinds of skin reactions... Add to that list Steve working EXTRA ( as in he goes into work between 4 and 5 AM and then after he got done with his 9 hour work day he went and worked for 4 more hours! ) plus me being a no list grocery shopper last weekend... and then all the pollen flying around in my nasal passages... Slightly disasterous.
Good news though! We will be returning to one of the best places on planet earth by the end of this coming week! And all this extra work will get us there!
Off to babysit for the night!
Love to all.
Ps. Congrats to my friends Alicia and Joe on their recent engagment- Praise the Lord. Amen.
and PPS
It was sunny for about 45 minutes today! mmmmmmm
grocery shop with out a list.
bad bad bad BAD idea!
You could end up like me and eat half a cantaloupe for lunch. and then eat cheese for dinner.
And your husband might start looking emaciated. Or you might eat grits ( blessed be Judy Nelson) with cheese three nights in the same week. Ok. So just two, but three sounds more dramatic.
SO this week has been completely nutso! Picture two year olds running amuck. Sticking their hands down their diapers. - Maybe that was last week... All kinds of skin reactions... Add to that list Steve working EXTRA ( as in he goes into work between 4 and 5 AM and then after he got done with his 9 hour work day he went and worked for 4 more hours! ) plus me being a no list grocery shopper last weekend... and then all the pollen flying around in my nasal passages... Slightly disasterous.
Good news though! We will be returning to one of the best places on planet earth by the end of this coming week! And all this extra work will get us there!
Off to babysit for the night!
Love to all.
Ps. Congrats to my friends Alicia and Joe on their recent engagment- Praise the Lord. Amen.
and PPS
It was sunny for about 45 minutes today! mmmmmmm
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
WOOOHOOOOOoo oooooo oooo!!!!
So... HERE I AM!!! Can you say : no internet?
Can you also say: creative outlet withdrawls?
So here it is let me go on an break it down with a little preview of the re-mix->
* went to Florida ! Sunshine, warm, family, good for my soul!
Got sunburn, ate good food and laughed alot.
But of course, there is always a bitter sweet side to these occasions- translation I HAD TO GET ON A FREAKING PLANE! I will use some adjectives here so you can understand : scarry, smoky, side ways plane, emergency landing, hazy cabin, woman sitting next to me hyperventilating, the guy from Boston saying " Aeee there goes the fuel.. right into the bay... oh Geeze!".
Don't worry the flight was canceled and I burned off all the calories I consumed that weekend by running down the hallway. past the bathroom, past the starbucks, past the security check point, into the shuttle, down three escalators to the U.S. Airways ticket counter. And I said to Yolanda " My flight was canceled. I have to get to Pittsburgh TONIGHT. Find a way to get me there Yolanda". She smacked her gum at me. Hit three keys on her keyboard and said " No flights till Monday ho-ney". Well, Yolanda had perfectly waxed eye brows, lip liner and her name was spelled out in her hoop earrings. So I pulled the PR card.
You bet. I put my hands on my hip. I stomped my foot. and I smacked MY GUM. I raised MY perfectly
(newly) waxed eyebrows at her and I said - nothings. She got the idea. She looked again.
So then I ask her where she is from and how great her brows are and she finds me a flight for later that night.
Never doubt the power of the Puerto Rican. Ok- thats a little exaggerated and probably untrue. But I'm seeing a trend here ok?
SO, I made it home.
We had a grand Easter at some friends house!
We have had a few sunny days here and there with mostly RAIN. So I am extra thankful for the sunny days.
And we are getting along.
Here is the thing, great things take time. Life is really hard and we are really broken.
So I am going to be honest about it - so don't freak out.
I think if we all stop pretending and we are just honest about what's hard and how we feel on the bad days and the good days we will be able to encourage each other a lot more.
Soon the husband and I will be making our way to the beloved country for a few weddings and some graduations! Get ready NC the Nelson's are comin to town!
Holler atcho Gurl peeps!
Peace and blessings and XO! to all!
Enjoy the sunshine where you are and dig out the spunky-ness with in!
Can you also say: creative outlet withdrawls?
So here it is let me go on an break it down with a little preview of the re-mix->
* went to Florida ! Sunshine, warm, family, good for my soul!
Got sunburn, ate good food and laughed alot.
But of course, there is always a bitter sweet side to these occasions- translation I HAD TO GET ON A FREAKING PLANE! I will use some adjectives here so you can understand : scarry, smoky, side ways plane, emergency landing, hazy cabin, woman sitting next to me hyperventilating, the guy from Boston saying " Aeee there goes the fuel.. right into the bay... oh Geeze!".
Don't worry the flight was canceled and I burned off all the calories I consumed that weekend by running down the hallway. past the bathroom, past the starbucks, past the security check point, into the shuttle, down three escalators to the U.S. Airways ticket counter. And I said to Yolanda " My flight was canceled. I have to get to Pittsburgh TONIGHT. Find a way to get me there Yolanda". She smacked her gum at me. Hit three keys on her keyboard and said " No flights till Monday ho-ney". Well, Yolanda had perfectly waxed eye brows, lip liner and her name was spelled out in her hoop earrings. So I pulled the PR card.
You bet. I put my hands on my hip. I stomped my foot. and I smacked MY GUM. I raised MY perfectly
(newly) waxed eyebrows at her and I said - nothings. She got the idea. She looked again.
So then I ask her where she is from and how great her brows are and she finds me a flight for later that night.
Never doubt the power of the Puerto Rican. Ok- thats a little exaggerated and probably untrue. But I'm seeing a trend here ok?
SO, I made it home.
We had a grand Easter at some friends house!
We have had a few sunny days here and there with mostly RAIN. So I am extra thankful for the sunny days.
And we are getting along.
Here is the thing, great things take time. Life is really hard and we are really broken.
So I am going to be honest about it - so don't freak out.
I think if we all stop pretending and we are just honest about what's hard and how we feel on the bad days and the good days we will be able to encourage each other a lot more.
Soon the husband and I will be making our way to the beloved country for a few weddings and some graduations! Get ready NC the Nelson's are comin to town!
Holler atcho Gurl peeps!
Peace and blessings and XO! to all!
Enjoy the sunshine where you are and dig out the spunky-ness with in!
Monday, April 18, 2011
This broken place- Right where you're standing.
So these days I sort of feel like I am swimming in sadness. Chalk it up to two moves in 8 months and I just can't handle it. BUT the good side is that I am not alone and my best friends are walking through it with me. This is exceedingly good. Also, this time I know how to be sad. It takes time to learn that you know.
So I'm walking around in the world today and I am thinking how great the birds and all the new flowers are. Everything is so new and good and beautiful in spring. But at the same time I am thinking of my friends and their sick babies and how it's so broken down here. I'd really like to go up There. Take a break. And then come back down if that's what He wanted. But I'm here because that's where He wants me for now.
The Psalmists repeatedly talks about putting his HOPE in the Lord. I am learning slowly that you can't really put your HOPE in anything else because everything else is =broken. Especially ME.
So when I put my hope in the bag of chocolate chips- it fails.
when I put my hope in the Real Simple magazine- FAIL.
when I put my hope in the new creation I made for dinner- FAIL!
So it's a little trial and error at this point.
But I learn. Slowly.
.
So I'm walking around in the world today and I am thinking how great the birds and all the new flowers are. Everything is so new and good and beautiful in spring. But at the same time I am thinking of my friends and their sick babies and how it's so broken down here. I'd really like to go up There. Take a break. And then come back down if that's what He wanted. But I'm here because that's where He wants me for now.
The Psalmists repeatedly talks about putting his HOPE in the Lord. I am learning slowly that you can't really put your HOPE in anything else because everything else is =
So when I put my hope in the bag of chocolate chips- it fails.
when I put my hope in the Real Simple magazine- FAIL.
when I put my hope in the new creation I made for dinner- FAIL!
So it's a little trial and error at this point.
But I learn. Slowly.
.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Yellow Puddle... ALMOST!
So there I was walking around Bed Bath and Beyond- also known as earths preview of Hell for minimalists.
And I was searching the place for an olive oil spritzer for the new and beautiful discovery of kale chips. Click for recipee because they are the best substitute for potato chips known to mankind.
Any ways So I'm shoppin away and this creepy guy keeps following me around, he works there so I give him dirty looks like... hey you.. guy! Stop following me! If I was going to shop lift I'd be wearing a baggier coat! Hello!? Then I decided to go to the bank. That's where I went wrong people.
So today we lucked out and got our tax refund. We had been wondering if the government was a scam because it was taking soooo long to get to us. It's comforting to know it's not since our mail was especially happy today.
Oh and PS if you are reading this and thinking about robbing me, don't bother we aren't worth that much. It would be a complete waste of your time. I mean, come on we don't even own a TV.
SO I go to the bank. I even go inside. Well it was a good thing. I walk up to the little corral thing. And I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Even though there are 4 tellers... just sitting there. TALKING! Completely ignoring me. Finally Fritzie - yeah. That was her NAME. She finally decides to break the deep convo about pot roast and wait on me. " I'd be glad to assist you honey". Well she lost me at : Honey:
So then I say, very nicely! " I'd like to cash these checks. " and she stares at me. Takes a breath. And then says to me " Well do you even have an account here". Well. now its war you old biddy!
Yes, I have an account here.
Then she looks at the check.
Well you have to have enough innn your account to cover this you know.
Yes, I know I tell her. I assure you there is enough.
Well, alright she says.
She types. Hmms, hurumphs, and then she says very loudly so that every one in the whole bank can hear her
" You do NOT have enough in this account to cover this check young lady. There is only ( even louder now) FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX CENTS IN HERE".
So, by now I'm turning the same color as my Bucs shirt. The other tellers are looking at me like... tisk tisk. And I'm looking back at them like... SHAME ON YOU!!!
So then I kindly reply, in an accent that must come from my ancestors because it can only be conjured up when I am .. sufficiently P.O'd, " Did you happen to check the other accounts?"
Oh she says.
Then she cashes the dang check and asks me if I want big bills and I say no. And for a moment I think about asking for all the money in ones. So I start laughing! And then she looks at me with that weird old lady look, so I start laughing HARDER and harder.... I'm laughing now actually. And then I say No, just medium bills like 20's and tens. To which she scowls. And I keep laughing all the way to the car. Which then I realize that I have to pee so bad that I can't hold it. Which is also when I realize that I need gas or my car is going to stop. So I drive to the nearest gas station. And the lady behind the counter tell me that they don't have public restrooms. I explain to her that I am going to pee my pants and she recommends that I do it outside... So I pump my gas with my legs crossed doing the pee pee dance and make it to the coffee shop just in time to see my newly favorite barista and get to the bawthroom without making any yellow puddles.
AH.
what a DAY.
So here I am
What happened to YOU today. Do tell!
And I was searching the place for an olive oil spritzer for the new and beautiful discovery of kale chips. Click for recipee because they are the best substitute for potato chips known to mankind.
Any ways So I'm shoppin away and this creepy guy keeps following me around, he works there so I give him dirty looks like... hey you.. guy! Stop following me! If I was going to shop lift I'd be wearing a baggier coat! Hello!? Then I decided to go to the bank. That's where I went wrong people.
So today we lucked out and got our tax refund. We had been wondering if the government was a scam because it was taking soooo long to get to us. It's comforting to know it's not since our mail was especially happy today.
Oh and PS if you are reading this and thinking about robbing me, don't bother we aren't worth that much. It would be a complete waste of your time. I mean, come on we don't even own a TV.
SO I go to the bank. I even go inside. Well it was a good thing. I walk up to the little corral thing. And I wait. and I wait. and I wait. Even though there are 4 tellers... just sitting there. TALKING! Completely ignoring me. Finally Fritzie - yeah. That was her NAME. She finally decides to break the deep convo about pot roast and wait on me. " I'd be glad to assist you honey". Well she lost me at : Honey:
So then I say, very nicely! " I'd like to cash these checks. " and she stares at me. Takes a breath. And then says to me " Well do you even have an account here". Well. now its war you old biddy!
Yes, I have an account here.
Then she looks at the check.
Well you have to have enough innn your account to cover this you know.
Yes, I know I tell her. I assure you there is enough.
Well, alright she says.
She types. Hmms, hurumphs, and then she says very loudly so that every one in the whole bank can hear her
" You do NOT have enough in this account to cover this check young lady. There is only ( even louder now) FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE DOLLARS AND TWENTY SIX CENTS IN HERE".
So, by now I'm turning the same color as my Bucs shirt. The other tellers are looking at me like... tisk tisk. And I'm looking back at them like... SHAME ON YOU!!!
So then I kindly reply, in an accent that must come from my ancestors because it can only be conjured up when I am .. sufficiently P.O'd, " Did you happen to check the other accounts?"
Oh she says.
Then she cashes the dang check and asks me if I want big bills and I say no. And for a moment I think about asking for all the money in ones. So I start laughing! And then she looks at me with that weird old lady look, so I start laughing HARDER and harder.... I'm laughing now actually. And then I say No, just medium bills like 20's and tens. To which she scowls. And I keep laughing all the way to the car. Which then I realize that I have to pee so bad that I can't hold it. Which is also when I realize that I need gas or my car is going to stop. So I drive to the nearest gas station. And the lady behind the counter tell me that they don't have public restrooms. I explain to her that I am going to pee my pants and she recommends that I do it outside... So I pump my gas with my legs crossed doing the pee pee dance and make it to the coffee shop just in time to see my newly favorite barista and get to the bawthroom without making any yellow puddles.
AH.
what a DAY.
So here I am
What happened to YOU today. Do tell!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Northern Hospitality... ish
So I have been spending much time at this little coffee shop in our neighborhood called Tazza D'oro. Which the masses fondly refer to as Tazzadoro's. Here is the thing: its the most intimidating coffee shop I have ever been to! And every time I leave I just think to myself i just want to go to the drip! But tonight as I was sitting here it clicked. This old guy is loudly yelling at these college students. They are trading comments about sewing and growing up in the Burgh. People are telling the Barista's goodbye before they leave. Every one is saying, " Good night every one"... and suddenly I realize. Every one knows every one else! And I'm not in the club. Why? Probably because these loud northern people freak me out and I keep being a shy and quiet fuzz ball.
NO MORE! Time to ask some questions and get some answers. ... Is that a line from the little mermaid?
So I can't decide if my clothes are shrinking or my wait is expanding... ! Its time to hit the gym. HARD.
I was recently inspired by a picture of me in a bathing suit from 2 years ago and I screeched through the house LOOK HOW SKINNY I WAS!!! Too bad I didnt think I was that fit! Shame!
SIGH.
Oh PS say hello to northern hospitality in the way of : the barista gave me my tea for free tonight because I didnt have enough cash. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
On with the next. A new week.
oh Lord let us see you near.
NO MORE! Time to ask some questions and get some answers. ... Is that a line from the little mermaid?
So I can't decide if my clothes are shrinking or my wait is expanding... ! Its time to hit the gym. HARD.
I was recently inspired by a picture of me in a bathing suit from 2 years ago and I screeched through the house LOOK HOW SKINNY I WAS!!! Too bad I didnt think I was that fit! Shame!
SIGH.
Oh PS say hello to northern hospitality in the way of : the barista gave me my tea for free tonight because I didnt have enough cash. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
On with the next. A new week.
oh Lord let us see you near.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Hello Sailor.... Hello Sailor... Hello Sailor....
So here I am ! It's starting to be Spring time in the great city of Pittsburgh!
Although we are supposed to get more snow next week.. I'm ignoring that and focusing on the beautiful sunshine and little green buds around these parts right now!
So it's been two weeks of " keep your toes on the floor please" and " control your body!" as well as "let me check your diaper" and " do you want to put your pee in the potty?". Pretty fabulous times.
If you ever want to learn how to raise a child, and you have no prior experience this is my genious suggestion: go work at a pre-school/day care for a few months. You will learn everything you ever needed to know.
So the days are good. Currently we are storing most pots and pans on the floor... haha. And anxiously awaiting our land lords permission to PAINT our bleak-off -white-haven't-been-painted-in-12-years-walls.
Also awaiting some great garage sales and furniture deals any where they can be found!
I tried to go to the farmers market today to buy zuchinni... and I got there at 12. The same time it closed! Unvelievable! Did I also mention how the other day I was talking on the phone, drinking coffee, and digging through my purse at the same time ( because I thought I locked my keys in the car..) and suddenly my coffee was in the air... flying, then crashing into a pick up truck! AH! Thankfully it bounced off and landed on the ground and exploded every where... yeah. No matter where I live I will always be crazy and unbelievably clumbsy. Yup.
Well, happy spring friends! Hopefully more to come and hopefully internet at the house very soon!
xo
<3
'
Although we are supposed to get more snow next week.. I'm ignoring that and focusing on the beautiful sunshine and little green buds around these parts right now!
So it's been two weeks of " keep your toes on the floor please" and " control your body!" as well as "let me check your diaper" and " do you want to put your pee in the potty?". Pretty fabulous times.
If you ever want to learn how to raise a child, and you have no prior experience this is my genious suggestion: go work at a pre-school/day care for a few months. You will learn everything you ever needed to know.
So the days are good. Currently we are storing most pots and pans on the floor... haha. And anxiously awaiting our land lords permission to PAINT our bleak-off -white-haven't-been-painted-in-12-years-walls.
Also awaiting some great garage sales and furniture deals any where they can be found!
I tried to go to the farmers market today to buy zuchinni... and I got there at 12. The same time it closed! Unvelievable! Did I also mention how the other day I was talking on the phone, drinking coffee, and digging through my purse at the same time ( because I thought I locked my keys in the car..) and suddenly my coffee was in the air... flying, then crashing into a pick up truck! AH! Thankfully it bounced off and landed on the ground and exploded every where... yeah. No matter where I live I will always be crazy and unbelievably clumbsy. Yup.
Well, happy spring friends! Hopefully more to come and hopefully internet at the house very soon!
xo
<3
'
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Simmer. Settle. Sigh.
So here we are in our new apartment. Well, I'm not actually there right now- no internet yet. But its in the works. Right now I am in the cute coffee shop down the road from our house! About 3 blocks away! AH! so close!
I am on a shopping excursion. A mission to save money and buy groceries for as little money as possible!
So its a gloomy day which fits my mood. GLOOMY. I don't actually have a great reason to be gloomy.
And I keep asking myself the question, When will Loralai and Luke get together!?! Which I am realizing translates into.. AHHH I hate moving and transition and getting a whole new life some where else! And everything always changes and ughh!!! When will things just stay the same and how I like them and ....
Oh Heaven. Please come quickly.
And earth quakes and people dying and sad, sad things.
But things are good here and life is rich and my new job is great. And my husband is wonderful.
And God is good.
Here is a picture from this weekend antics.. More soon. Off to buy the rest of the groceries now that I am sufficiently caffeinated!
Xo <3
I am on a shopping excursion. A mission to save money and buy groceries for as little money as possible!
So its a gloomy day which fits my mood. GLOOMY. I don't actually have a great reason to be gloomy.
And I keep asking myself the question, When will Loralai and Luke get together!?! Which I am realizing translates into.. AHHH I hate moving and transition and getting a whole new life some where else! And everything always changes and ughh!!! When will things just stay the same and how I like them and ....
Oh Heaven. Please come quickly.
And earth quakes and people dying and sad, sad things.
But things are good here and life is rich and my new job is great. And my husband is wonderful.
And God is good.
Xo <3
Sunday, March 6, 2011
NEW !!! SNOW! and Jillian...
WOAH! In the new apartment!
It snowed !
Going grocery shoppin.. for everything..
Intense healthy eating starting tomorrow.
... no internet for now!
LOVE to all!
<3
It snowed !
Going grocery shoppin.. for everything..
Intense healthy eating starting tomorrow.
... no internet for now!
LOVE to all!
<3
Thursday, March 3, 2011
House shoes and hand prints! - Sweet Pea the Donkey!
So there I was. In the grocery store. Trying to buy enough groceries to last a week.
On a small amount of money. Maybe the only good thing I actually liked about Texas was that we were so close to Mexico! Which made our food way, waycheap inexpensive -> I hear my cousin saying " We don't say cheap Sister! We say Inexpensive! Gotta learn from her classy ways!
ANY WHO!
So there I am, talking to my mom on the phone, drinking coffee, shopping and adding up the cost of everything in my basket on a piece of paper. This guy looks at me. Like he gives me that look. The You crazy as hell ! look. So I smile and take a sip of coffee and just keep going. Don't judge me!
As I make my way closer to the meat department I hear these screaming little boys. Yelling things like " I'm gunna blow you up! " and " You look like a crooked alien!" So, I'm thinking ... Aww how cute. Little boys playing loudly together in the super market!... Well I kept thinking that until I actually SAW them and realized that they weren't actually talking to each other they were talking to their MOM! They were running around her in circles, yelling, hitting her and telling he she looked like a crooked alien! All the while she was trying to buy some ground chuck!
Immediately I am coming up with a diagnosis for these boys. ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder ... so on and so forth. Then I snap out of it and decide they just need leashes and a large portion of discipline!
SO then the funny part happens. I get to the check out line and the cashier and the bagging lady are talking about the little boys:
" You see then? oooo Lordy. They was mean!" She rings up my eggs.
" If I was they mama I'da put them right... oooooo!!" She bags the eggs.
" Yeah, you preachin to the choir honey. 'Member them good ole days when you was actin up yo mama
done come after yo ass with a house shoe?"
Every one is laughing. She puts in all my cupons.
" Oh my Lord. And youda had a hand print 'cross yo face for a week.... " She works her magic on the register, getting me 8 dollars and 59 cents off my grocery bill.
" But you knew how to act now didncha? "
So we all agree and laugh. And " Thank you for shopping at Giant Eagle have a great day!"
So I don't know if I will use the house shoe method of discipline when I have kids in 25 years but I sure hope my kids don't run around the market yelling at each other or calling me a crooked alien!
NEWS: I got a job yesterday! OH PRAISE HIM! Hello Pre-School world! Thanks for the prayers!
Oh and please enjoy a few pictures from our Christmas photo shoot with Sweet Pea the world's cutest donkey!
On a small amount of money. Maybe the only good thing I actually liked about Texas was that we were so close to Mexico! Which made our food way, way
ANY WHO!
So there I am, talking to my mom on the phone, drinking coffee, shopping and adding up the cost of everything in my basket on a piece of paper. This guy looks at me. Like he gives me that look. The You crazy as hell ! look. So I smile and take a sip of coffee and just keep going. Don't judge me!
As I make my way closer to the meat department I hear these screaming little boys. Yelling things like " I'm gunna blow you up! " and " You look like a crooked alien!" So, I'm thinking ... Aww how cute. Little boys playing loudly together in the super market!... Well I kept thinking that until I actually SAW them and realized that they weren't actually talking to each other they were talking to their MOM! They were running around her in circles, yelling, hitting her and telling he she looked like a crooked alien! All the while she was trying to buy some ground chuck!
Immediately I am coming up with a diagnosis for these boys. ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder ... so on and so forth. Then I snap out of it and decide they just need leashes and a large portion of discipline!
SO then the funny part happens. I get to the check out line and the cashier and the bagging lady are talking about the little boys:
" You see then? oooo Lordy. They was mean!" She rings up my eggs.
" If I was they mama I'da put them right... oooooo!!" She bags the eggs.
" Yeah, you preachin to the choir honey. 'Member them good ole days when you was actin up yo mama
done come after yo ass with a house shoe?"
Every one is laughing. She puts in all my cupons.
" Oh my Lord. And youda had a hand print 'cross yo face for a week.... " She works her magic on the register, getting me 8 dollars and 59 cents off my grocery bill.
" But you knew how to act now didncha? "
So we all agree and laugh. And " Thank you for shopping at Giant Eagle have a great day!"
So I don't know if I will use the house shoe method of discipline when I have kids in 25 years but I sure hope my kids don't run around the market yelling at each other or calling me a crooked alien!
NEWS: I got a job yesterday! OH PRAISE HIM! Hello Pre-School world! Thanks for the prayers!
Oh and please enjoy a few pictures from our Christmas photo shoot with Sweet Pea the world's cutest donkey!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Miracles happen...!
SO there I was. Sleeping. Asleep. Very happy to be asleep. Then I woke up and... it didn't happen.
Ok, so let me explain. I have two monsters that live inside me. One lives inside my tummy and it eats ALL my food, leaving none for me. This is the only scientific explanation to why I am hungry almost every minute of the day... And the second monster is the most ferocious. Actually he is quite famous. The Sleep Monster. Or at last that is what my husband has named it... You actually can take a poll from the people who have slept in a bed with me or who have lived with me, or even who have happened to wake me up!
The Monster lives people.
Well, today he did not rear his ugly head... heads? I actually DID IT. I woke up before 8 am. With out coffee.
So this was my Monday Miracle.
In college I went through this phase where I wanted to be like my best friend. My best friend who wakes up early and goes running. She is like the USPS... not rain nor snow nor hail or late nights up with the girl friends; nothing stops her from doing some sort of productive activity in the wee hours of the morning.
Any ways. I asked her to wake me up every day and for a few weeks/months ( i can't remember! Can you?) she did. I would wake up and watch the today show with Matt Lauer and ... that blonde lady.. and then the other lady.... and then the really great weather guy ... Al Roker! I loved it!
So today was perhaps the first time since that early mornings stint that I watched the Today show... loved it!
Other mircales: (well they haven't happened yet but...)
I have decided to
*embrace my arms ( my aunt inspired me. she says in a great new york accent " ehhh what canya do? they're Bezares arms! " and hello.. Bezares women.. do we not have the HOOD muscle? am I right?!)
*Be a vegetarian again - whilst eating burritos for lunch with chicken in them I finally realized that along with the black beans and quinoa I actually didn't like the taste of chicken. So Steve says we'll be Free-atarians. We'll just not eat meat unless it's free! Sounds good for the budget!
* Become more like my best friends who both get up early and...get up early.
Oh, yes, another noteworthy miracle.
I baked something today with out causing a major disaster! Nothing burned. Not one thing. I could hear them angels a'singin.
Less than Miraculous:
Hmm. WHAT THA HECK IS THE DEEEALLLLL WITH CELLULITE!
Dear body,
Hi, remember me?The one that feeds you ? The one that only eats whole wheat? The one that drinks 8 gallons of water a day? The on that gets carpet burn from doing Yoga Melt down?!?!?!
Great. So, um... WHAT THE HECK is your PROBLEM!?! You turn 24 and suddenly decide to get all dimples on me? Well this is your notice... REMOVE THEYSELF FROM MY ASS! and every where else!
Sincerely Yours,
Morgan.
Sigh.
Oh, other Miracles that would be lovely to happen!
Steve has a job interview tomorrow! Prayers please my people!
And I had one last week and should hear from them by the end of this week!
<3 love to all.
Ok, so let me explain. I have two monsters that live inside me. One lives inside my tummy and it eats ALL my food, leaving none for me. This is the only scientific explanation to why I am hungry almost every minute of the day... And the second monster is the most ferocious. Actually he is quite famous. The Sleep Monster. Or at last that is what my husband has named it... You actually can take a poll from the people who have slept in a bed with me or who have lived with me, or even who have happened to wake me up!
The Monster lives people.
Well, today he did not rear his ugly head... heads? I actually DID IT. I woke up before 8 am. With out coffee.
So this was my Monday Miracle.
In college I went through this phase where I wanted to be like my best friend. My best friend who wakes up early and goes running. She is like the USPS... not rain nor snow nor hail or late nights up with the girl friends; nothing stops her from doing some sort of productive activity in the wee hours of the morning.
Any ways. I asked her to wake me up every day and for a few weeks/months ( i can't remember! Can you?) she did. I would wake up and watch the today show with Matt Lauer and ... that blonde lady.. and then the other lady.... and then the really great weather guy ... Al Roker! I loved it!
So today was perhaps the first time since that early mornings stint that I watched the Today show... loved it!
Other mircales: (well they haven't happened yet but...)
I have decided to
*embrace my arms ( my aunt inspired me. she says in a great new york accent " ehhh what canya do? they're Bezares arms! " and hello.. Bezares women.. do we not have the HOOD muscle? am I right?!)
*Be a vegetarian again - whilst eating burritos for lunch with chicken in them I finally realized that along with the black beans and quinoa I actually didn't like the taste of chicken. So Steve says we'll be Free-atarians. We'll just not eat meat unless it's free! Sounds good for the budget!
* Become more like my best friends who both get up early and...get up early.
Oh, yes, another noteworthy miracle.
I baked something today with out causing a major disaster! Nothing burned. Not one thing. I could hear them angels a'singin.
Less than Miraculous:
Hmm. WHAT THA HECK IS THE DEEEALLLLL WITH CELLULITE!
Dear body,
Hi, remember me?The one that feeds you ? The one that only eats whole wheat? The one that drinks 8 gallons of water a day? The on that gets carpet burn from doing Yoga Melt down?!?!?!
Great. So, um... WHAT THE HECK is your PROBLEM!?! You turn 24 and suddenly decide to get all dimples on me? Well this is your notice... REMOVE THEYSELF FROM MY ASS! and every where else!
Sincerely Yours,
Morgan.
Sigh.
Oh, other Miracles that would be lovely to happen!
Steve has a job interview tomorrow! Prayers please my people!
And I had one last week and should hear from them by the end of this week!
<3 love to all.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Hips Don't Lie... ! But the rest of civilazation do!
So. Maybe it's all about letting go.
You know of grudges. Receipts that fill your wallet so that you can't close it...
Weird nick-nacks of Christmas passed from the ex-girlfriend of your second cousin twice removed.
You know. Letting go of all the little voices that talk to you while you eat chocolate chips straight out of the bag at 11 pm ...
Or of fear.
The other day my husband said the most crazy thing to me. And for some reason * probably because he was right.. like usual* it was so true down deep to my soul. He said " Why won't you just let me love you. Just let me love you". Part of me thought that sounds so great! Another part of me thought - I CAN'T-. Slightly panicked and desperate. Where do those parts of us come from any ways...
My wanting to burst into tears, or flames, got me to thinking... why don't I just let him love me?
Then I decided I am a clincher. A hoarder... a grasper, clutcher. dig my nails in grabbing on, holding on so tighly-er. To... what? I have no idea. What is it. Safety maybe? Control? My heart. My...? I have no idea. But my bet is that it's control or something like it. I have this nagging feeling that I live my life in a weird, yet not so intense form of vague detachment. And in very rare self aware moments I realize very briefly that so much of my life is lived as a game where I keep my heart out of as much danger as possible. When I know that the most life is found where the greatest risks lie. I look back at my life so far and ask myself... girl for real? It wasn't all that. Why you actin all crazy? BUT then. I got to thinking... enough with all the self speculation and criticism. The shame and blame game. Say good-bye. Get to steppin. Don't let the big ass door hit you on the cheeks on your way out.
Because -> You know maybe some times it's in the small things. The over and over again things. The every day things. The TV things. The magazine things. The catastrophe things. The jerk boyfriend things. The mean condescending boss things. The lies. Small hurts. Small non-truths that circulate themselves around our world. So perhaps ->These small, over and over again things feed our natural tendency to fear.
I think my fear is that I won't survive the pain. Of whatever it is. Tragedy. Heart break... Fear of hurting in that place under my rib cage, behind my love handles, below my collar bone.
But I will survive. And so will you.
SO then. How do you step away from a fear induced life of detached-ness? How do you live in a broken world where you will be absolutely crushed and your heart will be torn out and stomped on by 6 inch Stiletto heels?
--> you cry big tears. yell. stomp. drink massive amounts of coffee. eat chocolate. talk. and cry some more.
AKA= FEEL.
So far the answer I have found is this: when you don't feel or let people love you ( my personal natural tendency.. ahem.) you DIE. Little by little. Silently. And then you all the sudden break down in very inconvenient places where people stare at you and give you their therapists' card.... Not good for any one.
SO in the words of Tim Keller. What kind of sermon's are we preaching to our hearts? What truth will we put before us? What words will we hear?
Really all of these lies, for me at least, have to do with feelings. And I'm learning a lot about feelings this year. I must say at most points they can not be completely trusted. Valid, yes. Good, definitely. Taken as the unbiased, truthful facts. H to the NO. It's in the truth baby.
For me the answer is Jesus and the hope he gives me and the love he supplies me with. And the GRACE he bestows upon me so I can -> let my husband love me. feel. not become a curly headed roaming the earth zombie.
How do YOU keep the truth before you and keep your heart alive? How do you un-zombie?
DO tell!
Duces!
<3
You know of grudges. Receipts that fill your wallet so that you can't close it...
Weird nick-nacks of Christmas passed from the ex-girlfriend of your second cousin twice removed.
You know. Letting go of all the little voices that talk to you while you eat chocolate chips straight out of the bag at 11 pm ...
Or of fear.
The other day my husband said the most crazy thing to me. And for some reason * probably because he was right.. like usual* it was so true down deep to my soul. He said " Why won't you just let me love you. Just let me love you". Part of me thought that sounds so great! Another part of me thought - I CAN'T-. Slightly panicked and desperate. Where do those parts of us come from any ways...
My wanting to burst into tears, or flames, got me to thinking... why don't I just let him love me?
Then I decided I am a clincher. A hoarder... a grasper, clutcher. dig my nails in grabbing on, holding on so tighly-er. To... what? I have no idea. What is it. Safety maybe? Control? My heart. My...? I have no idea. But my bet is that it's control or something like it. I have this nagging feeling that I live my life in a weird, yet not so intense form of vague detachment. And in very rare self aware moments I realize very briefly that so much of my life is lived as a game where I keep my heart out of as much danger as possible. When I know that the most life is found where the greatest risks lie. I look back at my life so far and ask myself... girl for real? It wasn't all that. Why you actin all crazy? BUT then. I got to thinking... enough with all the self speculation and criticism. The shame and blame game. Say good-bye. Get to steppin. Don't let the big ass door hit you on the cheeks on your way out.
Because -> You know maybe some times it's in the small things. The over and over again things. The every day things. The TV things. The magazine things. The catastrophe things. The jerk boyfriend things. The mean condescending boss things. The lies. Small hurts. Small non-truths that circulate themselves around our world. So perhaps ->These small, over and over again things feed our natural tendency to fear.
I think my fear is that I won't survive the pain. Of whatever it is. Tragedy. Heart break... Fear of hurting in that place under my rib cage, behind my love handles, below my collar bone.
But I will survive. And so will you.
SO then. How do you step away from a fear induced life of detached-ness? How do you live in a broken world where you will be absolutely crushed and your heart will be torn out and stomped on by 6 inch Stiletto heels?
--> you cry big tears. yell. stomp. drink massive amounts of coffee. eat chocolate. talk. and cry some more.
AKA= FEEL.
So far the answer I have found is this: when you don't feel or let people love you ( my personal natural tendency.. ahem.) you DIE. Little by little. Silently. And then you all the sudden break down in very inconvenient places where people stare at you and give you their therapists' card.... Not good for any one.
SO in the words of Tim Keller. What kind of sermon's are we preaching to our hearts? What truth will we put before us? What words will we hear?
Really all of these lies, for me at least, have to do with feelings. And I'm learning a lot about feelings this year. I must say at most points they can not be completely trusted. Valid, yes. Good, definitely. Taken as the unbiased, truthful facts. H to the NO. It's in the truth baby.
For me the answer is Jesus and the hope he gives me and the love he supplies me with. And the GRACE he bestows upon me so I can -> let my husband love me. feel. not become a curly headed roaming the earth zombie.
How do YOU keep the truth before you and keep your heart alive? How do you un-zombie?
DO tell!
Duces!
<3
Pictures from the Burg.
and #3. Two of my dearest friends!
Hooray!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Magical Snow. Tazza D'orro & Adventures in Winter Wonderland
Day of adventure.
Here is how it happened.
Leave the house. Good bye golden retirevers.
Hello icey slush chunks falling from the sky.
Drive to the BIG CITY
Steve has an interview. Wait for Steve in the car. Talk to Mami.Contemplate eating ice cream while waiting for Steve. Decide my thighs can't afford the cream. Think about coffee. Decide we shall get coffee after interview. Start to get worried about Steve. Text Steve to see if he has been man-napped. Steve comes out 30 seconds later. Think Steve some times looks like Brad Pitt. Start to drive in the slush. Squeal the tires. Steve asks if I want him to drive. I adamantly say no. Two seconds later I slide down the road and almost into some one. THEN we go to our cute apartment. Well, the outside. Say hello to our fun apartment from out side. Try to find a cafe near by. Get lost. End up at Boarders. Check out the close out sale. Say hello to a woman with dreds in the bathroom. Pretty sure she was shooting up. See a cross dresser man with a beard. Say hello. Check out the cards on sale. Look for more good steals. Give dirty looks to suspected shop lifters. Wait in line for 10 minutes. Get a Real Simple for 3 dallas. Halla. Forgot wallet in the car. ....
Finally find coffee shop 2 hours later. Sit and sip delicious coffee with cute husband in a european-esuq cafe surrounded by snow.
THEN the adventures began.
So there we were driving carefully in the snow at 25 miles an hour. Ok, maybe it was 15 but any ways. It was slow. We suddenly see 2 miles of very still red tail lights going off into the distance. On the highway we needed to be on. So we got out the map. We find another way. Slowly we make our way up up up and around the interstate. It's dark. It's snowy. We are doing GREAT because my husband is a vetran snow driver. But then there was THE HILL. And the car went down, down DOWN! And to the left and to the right and then there was this DITCH! that thankfully was filled with soft, white, peaceful snow. So we did not crash, or become dismembered or total our car. And we even came to a complete stop by the time we got to the bottom of the hill. We even made it home in time for dinner. Well, dinner at 10 pm.
And for the rest of the ride home I just kept yelling " We ALMOST DIED!" And Steve did not force me to walk even though I was ranting and raving while he was trying to concentrate....
what a day!
Here is how it happened.
Leave the house. Good bye golden retirevers.
Hello icey slush chunks falling from the sky.
Drive to the BIG CITY
Steve has an interview. Wait for Steve in the car. Talk to Mami.Contemplate eating ice cream while waiting for Steve. Decide my thighs can't afford the cream. Think about coffee. Decide we shall get coffee after interview. Start to get worried about Steve. Text Steve to see if he has been man-napped. Steve comes out 30 seconds later. Think Steve some times looks like Brad Pitt. Start to drive in the slush. Squeal the tires. Steve asks if I want him to drive. I adamantly say no. Two seconds later I slide down the road and almost into some one. THEN we go to our cute apartment. Well, the outside. Say hello to our fun apartment from out side. Try to find a cafe near by. Get lost. End up at Boarders. Check out the close out sale. Say hello to a woman with dreds in the bathroom. Pretty sure she was shooting up. See a cross dresser man with a beard. Say hello. Check out the cards on sale. Look for more good steals. Give dirty looks to suspected shop lifters. Wait in line for 10 minutes. Get a Real Simple for 3 dallas. Halla. Forgot wallet in the car. ....
Finally find coffee shop 2 hours later. Sit and sip delicious coffee with cute husband in a european-esuq cafe surrounded by snow.
THEN the adventures began.
So there we were driving carefully in the snow at 25 miles an hour. Ok, maybe it was 15 but any ways. It was slow. We suddenly see 2 miles of very still red tail lights going off into the distance. On the highway we needed to be on. So we got out the map. We find another way. Slowly we make our way up up up and around the interstate. It's dark. It's snowy. We are doing GREAT because my husband is a vetran snow driver. But then there was THE HILL. And the car went down, down DOWN! And to the left and to the right and then there was this DITCH! that thankfully was filled with soft, white, peaceful snow. So we did not crash, or become dismembered or total our car. And we even came to a complete stop by the time we got to the bottom of the hill. We even made it home in time for dinner. Well, dinner at 10 pm.
And for the rest of the ride home I just kept yelling " We ALMOST DIED!" And Steve did not force me to walk even though I was ranting and raving while he was trying to concentrate....
what a day!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Waffles and Spaghetti, oh yeah, and it's snowing!
SO it's SNOWING! Hooray! As long as I don't have to get wet in it!
Today we actually made it to church with out getting lost. And I heard the best description of the Pittsburgh streets yet: Most streets are like waffles, but the streets in Pittsburgh are like Spaghetti!
Its true! Streets like spaghetti!
So we have been taking to these spaghetti streets! And its been fun!
Hubs and I think we may have found our apartment! So we are just hoping for jobs to follow this week! Hubs might have two interviews this week and I am going to try and get myself one...
We went to Jubilee this weekend and it was great! We got to see some old friends and we also made some new friends which was so good!
So this week will be all about job hunting!
Also might I add that I have been watching season one of Gilmore girls and... I LOVE IT!
And I am also schemeing decorating ( cheap or free ) ideas for our apartment!
Any good ideas!
DOOO Share!!
xo
<3
Today we actually made it to church with out getting lost. And I heard the best description of the Pittsburgh streets yet: Most streets are like waffles, but the streets in Pittsburgh are like Spaghetti!
Its true! Streets like spaghetti!
So we have been taking to these spaghetti streets! And its been fun!
Hubs and I think we may have found our apartment! So we are just hoping for jobs to follow this week! Hubs might have two interviews this week and I am going to try and get myself one...
We went to Jubilee this weekend and it was great! We got to see some old friends and we also made some new friends which was so good!
So this week will be all about job hunting!
Also might I add that I have been watching season one of Gilmore girls and... I LOVE IT!
And I am also schemeing decorating ( cheap or free ) ideas for our apartment!
Any good ideas!
DOOO Share!!
xo
<3
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
If its my nose, why can't I BREATHE out of it?
So here I am procrastinating. Sitting on the couch. Facebook stalking the masses while my Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown is waiting for me upstairs. But like all good things, this no excersizing/eat what ever you want madness must come to an END! Chocolate. White processed flour. Butter. Sugar. Sugar. Sugar. Ice cream. Pizza.
Mandy's Pizza. oooo oh Mandy's pizza...
My first night in Pgh we went to Hungy Mandy's Pizza. Best pizza in the north. Best pizza in my belly ever. We should NEVER have gone there... because now I'm dreaming about it.
Not to mention the bakery near by that has gigantic cinnamon rolls, fresh, right out of the oven, for 75 cents. WHO DOES THAT! ?
Living in the city is not going to make eating healthy any easier...
Enough procrastinatin.... ughhhh
Oh by the way did I mention that apparenly my nose does not like the frigid north and all this heat coming out of air vents every where all over the house? Sinus infection? Who knows... all I know is that home girl is only breathin on one nostirl. ... Maybe I'm too sick to work out today.. maybe I need a cupcake.. with butter cream frosting....
and pink sprinkles.... and a mocha from Starbucks...
Mandy's Pizza. oooo oh Mandy's pizza...
My first night in Pgh we went to Hungy Mandy's Pizza. Best pizza in the north. Best pizza in my belly ever. We should NEVER have gone there... because now I'm dreaming about it.
Not to mention the bakery near by that has gigantic cinnamon rolls, fresh, right out of the oven, for 75 cents. WHO DOES THAT! ?
Living in the city is not going to make eating healthy any easier...
Enough procrastinatin.... ughhhh
Oh by the way did I mention that apparenly my nose does not like the frigid north and all this heat coming out of air vents every where all over the house? Sinus infection? Who knows... all I know is that home girl is only breathin on one nostirl. ... Maybe I'm too sick to work out today.. maybe I need a cupcake.. with butter cream frosting....
and pink sprinkles.... and a mocha from Starbucks...
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
First Week in PA
So here we are in PENSYLVANIA! I can't even believe it!
I never realized how southern I have become... I don't know anything about Magnolia trees or catillians and I can't actually make friend chicken... but I think all the southern charm has rubbed off on me.
Which would explain why I have been completely offended by every Pittsburgher I come in contact with.
Crazy things about Pittsburgh so far ( besides the no-nonesense, direct and loud manner of speaking... RUDE! )
#1. Ginormous Sandwiches from Primanti Brothers : Hello GIANT Corned Beef Sandwich loaded with frechfries, cole slaw, and tomato between two huge pieces of deli bread. WOAH! Delicious.
Did I mention that we also ordered chili cheese fries? (Pictures to come... )
We walk into the restuarant and basicially get yelled at until we get our food slapped down in front of us. It was great.
#2. Crazy Streets... There is no North, South, East or West. Except the West End, the East End. The North Hills and the South Hills. .. Currently we are chillin up in the North Hills with two Golden Retrievers and two lovely Reverends.
#3. MAPS: so far we have been getting around the city with a MAP. Its been totally nuts and really fun. We have been zooming all around the city getting lost and then getting found again. So we have been getting to known the city little by little.
So here we are on a new adventure in Pittsburgh! CRAZY!
<3
I never realized how southern I have become... I don't know anything about Magnolia trees or catillians and I can't actually make friend chicken... but I think all the southern charm has rubbed off on me.
Which would explain why I have been completely offended by every Pittsburgher I come in contact with.
Crazy things about Pittsburgh so far ( besides the no-nonesense, direct and loud manner of speaking... RUDE! )
#1. Ginormous Sandwiches from Primanti Brothers : Hello GIANT Corned Beef Sandwich loaded with frechfries, cole slaw, and tomato between two huge pieces of deli bread. WOAH! Delicious.
Did I mention that we also ordered chili cheese fries? (Pictures to come... )
We walk into the restuarant and basicially get yelled at until we get our food slapped down in front of us. It was great.
#2. Crazy Streets... There is no North, South, East or West. Except the West End, the East End. The North Hills and the South Hills. .. Currently we are chillin up in the North Hills with two Golden Retrievers and two lovely Reverends.
#3. MAPS: so far we have been getting around the city with a MAP. Its been totally nuts and really fun. We have been zooming all around the city getting lost and then getting found again. So we have been getting to known the city little by little.
So here we are on a new adventure in Pittsburgh! CRAZY!
<3
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